I think I know how to tell this story with the objective being TO CHANGE POLICIES. First, recover as soon as you can hear your own thinking connecting to previous thoughts so it's not just a single thought it's NEW INFO (What You Just Learned!) connecting to a priori. All the previous are writing samples created by adrenaline created by ptsd.
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Today is March 1, 2024 (3:59 CT) & I am writing! The pre-requisite is (a) hearing voice (b) no fear because when specific threats are made, it’s very real (c) checked with consent & yes, I still believe in the original promise to self & society. I’m a school teacher (my identity) & said, “if I get my voice back, God. I’ll use it for good.” These are not words spoken in-the-moment, but with real power behind it & that cones from faith & trusting we all have a purpose from the bugs that crawl in the dirt, to a soaring eagle, to the laborers that built our world to the highest & mightiest sitting on board rooms & throne rooms.
UPDATE : 10/5/22 : The picture on this podcast (main profile) relates to the fact to GET NUMBERS BACK, one must expose self to numbers, just like TO READ, exposure to what that squiggle is (a letter!) can happen daily, hourly, all the time if an adult/grown up/teacher/parent/willing participant wants to SHOW someone (a child usually, but could be an adult who has never been given that exposure, this being THAT YOU CAN LIVE ANOTHER WAY & THAT YOU CAN ABSOLUTELY DISAGREE [since the original #ptsd #audio #trigger & warning on replay (2 things) is/are the words, "in my family, any disagreement is a confrontation" & my response, "well, I disagree that you cannot disagree without confronting them, but I guess I'll see what you mean," & now, I'll share my observations. 12 years TEACHING SPECIAL ED in Chicago Public Schools (said it, not scared & definitely willing to expose. ya'll since CTU is with CPD & if not, please explain it to me since I will say verbatim what I hear & see since successfully removed all triggers beginning today, October 5th, 2022)21 years advocacy since moving to Chicago in 2000.40 years of just being alive because "in my family, I get the best of everything since they went through it first & taught me what never to do which is what they did (really? Thanks for reTEACHING it to me over & over since those are their words on replay over & over & it's, "I'm confused") & what always to do. Speak.FIRST WRITING WITH FIRST UPLOAD ~ June 9th, 2022 : Sharing everything that helped end trauma including those that HELPED, HARMED, but also have no idea what they did. I am a person learning skills after assaults in 2013 & 2015 so be kind. All I know is that there was a purpose for repeated violence in multiple spaces & I think it was for me to podcast. There is a supplemental video component that may assist to explain or confuse, but it's out there since I changed "their ptsd" & "their suicide" into concrete since you gotta hear it, see it & since you can't feel it unless you go through it, to give YOU the best chance to pick up wha I'm saying/spraying/slaying.We all have an interest in preventing violence since once in the body, it definitely stays in the body. Thanks for listening & if interested in supporting, I'll provide ways to do so since to help me, you must help those who helped me only because the people PAID to care for them (doctors, social services, protective agencies) TOOK ADVANTAGE & I only know that to end trauma, it can not happen again. I'll do everything I can to ensure it never happens again & that is the best I can do.
SmarterThanTrauma™
©Smart E MC
useyourvoic3 and that 3 is someone insisting on a password & their "tip" & how I've reLIVED this in prolonged exposure therapy. That is 100% effective imho.
Next goal is to DO IT FASTER.
It's all in there & next podcast contains a correction from this one since I can hear self.
Don't forget, start reading descriptions since they're my notes, but now, I don't have to sha…
A mix of pop culture and random videos & now shorts, the internet introduces. What I am not listening to? Politics! This is a memory of how we cannot talk about politics and someone's o…
No need to since going back to "PRIVATE." THANK GOODNESS.
I will just reread the descriptions since I wrote it enough times to remind self to simply read it & then reorganize, but it rea…
Finally, I can write this story. I will be reliving multiple conversations and as that bubble up, I'm going to write it verbatim & record what happens with the memory that I was a teach…
Stopped at grief. This isn't hitting me anymore since death was all around me. Every day, I thought, I'm going to die (suicide) since I did report this to healthcare (NWMH & again with …
Give people new things to talk about, but also, realize, some people are just really sick. #anxiety #sobriety & this dynamic that I didn't get, but in this voice memo, it's clearly some…
WORLD ONE and predatory behavior I hadn't heard since middle school! Luckily, I could ask someone about it.
Why we ask students to "use your own life experience/personal knowledge with evidence from the text," & this is a very hard skill. Why when you ask, "why do you think that way?" or stat…
Dave/David M.'s eyes popping up & 2x from one person who used same excuse, just used it while I was in survival mode so I CAUGHT IT and within rapid succession (not sure if it was weeks…
"Beets is a beat down."
This was a video, but I want to start connecting to that trust thing. Individuals who care for dogs, support shelters & assist in the adoption process (socializi…
The goal was to listen to more than the day before & hold the day, take notes and indicate which ones to listen to since in the deSCRIPTion because I cannot determine "the worst," those…
This podcast is inspired by putting away ptsd created by monthly zoom meetings with BOD at HOA in Chicago, IL, USA. They blame the residents. They blame the homeless people (there's onl…
True collaboration & comments that "ruin it."
How noise helped and will explain how I transitioned between rooms in the house with a speaker (keep talking). I step on something & you can…
I've been charging all tech devices thoroughly including plugging in at night. It started ~10 days ago, and is nightly starting Monday June 16, 2025.
PART I "Life Before Ivan [the terrible]"
PART II "Life After Ivan" (I didn't hear "the terrible" so am ahead of audio triggers)
HOMEWORK : look for number 17 & explain how this became a t…
The word was "rape-y" and I didn't say. It let me know this person was aware & now I understand, how it worked out so well for so long. It's unusual to be with someone whose mental heal…
The First Step is to (a) describe the triggers & (b) quantify them. We're not quite as Wisemind yet so while (a) is from NWMH, (b) originates from behavioralism & objective data collect…