Downsizing Episode 38: It Is Not The Spoon That Blends
They make paper towels, but why not towel paper? Why do I save all my good jokes for the episode description?
Outro song: Meow Mix Theme
Podcast art by Joey Rizk
Downsizing Episode 37: Stupid In Bulk
I'm going to mix pre-workout with melatonin so I can finally win fights in my dreams.
Outro song: It's Been Awhile - Staind
Podcast art by Joey Rizk
Downsizing Episode 36: Rules Redux
Can't tell you how gutted I am about the fact that I only thought to make a joke about the V standing for "void cheque" after I finished recording.
Outro song: Butter - BTS
Podcast art by Joey Rizk
Downsizing Episode 35: The Sound and the Fury
"I've got some good ideas for some tik toks" said the guy far too close to his thirties to be on tik tok
Outro song: A Distinctive Sound - Gotye
Podcast art by Joey Rizk
Downsizing Episode 34: Injured In A Suit
I'd run for office if it wasn't for the fact that I put all of this blackmail material on one place.
Outro song: Last Resort - Papa Roach X Jeris Johnson
Podcast art by Joey Rizk
Downsizing Episode 33: Leprechaun C4
I'm just going to bulk for my entire life and deadlift 900 pounds when I'm 100.
Outro song: Wacky Dust - Ella Fitzgerald
Podcast art by Joey Rizk
Downsizing Episode 32: Bulking In Naples
Bro I'm keto, so it's totally cool that I'm eating nothing but butter all day. Everyone loves butter anyway, I'm just cutting out the middle man bro.
Outro song: That's Amore by Dean Martin
Podcast ar…
Downsizing Episode 31: Unconstipate The Fat Bed
This week's episode is like if you combined Ozark, Breaking Bad, and an 8 year old reading out loud in class all into one incoherent package.
Outro song: Liposuction - Da Vinci's Notebook
Podcast art…
Downsizing Episode 30: Fat In The Head
You've heard of pre workout, but I do gi workout. It's where I do deadlifts in a karate gi. What did George St Pierre wear when he practiced karate? A guy. I'll see myself out.
Outro Song: I'm Fat…
Downsizing Episode 29: Taste the Heat, Not the Meat
My new fitness goal is to become so fit that I become unlikable. Step 1: Become likeable
Outro song: Bad at Math - The Scary Jokes
Podcast art by Joey Rizk
Downsizing Episode 28: I'm No Seinfeld
Doing a podcast by yourself is a bit like pissing your pants in your own home. There's no one to blame but yourself.
Outro song: Ramblin' Man - The Allman Brothers Band
Podcast art by Joey Rizk
Downsizing Episode 27: Downsizing Past The Deadline
I hope to one day be successful enough to be in a position to embezzle. No I didn't look up how to spell it. Yes I did. Sorry I lied.
Outro song: Steak and Eggs - If you know, you know
Podcast art…
Downsizing Episode 26: Useless and Cringe
I've been thinking about rebranding this podcast as an art piece. Which I think means I don't have to try to make it funny anymore.
Outro song: Canadian Idiot - Weird Al Yankovic
Podcast logo by Joey …
Downsizing Episode 25: Fine Art and Phosphates
Might fuck around and become the most influential artist of my generation.
Outro song: Concrete and Clay - Unit 4+2
Podcast logo by Joey Rizk
Downsizing Episode 24: Camp Thrill Yourself
If a tree falls down in the forest, most likely it's because I sat on it.
Outro song: Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh - Allan Sherman
Podcast logo by Joey Rizk
Downsizing Episode 23: There Can Only Be Fun
If "bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks," and "tricks are for kids," does it then follow that bitches are for kids?
Outro Song: Olympic Fanfare and Theme - John Williams
Podcast art by Joey Rizk
Downsizing Episode 22: Bugging the Neighbors
I'll know I've finally made it when I start talking about all the "haters" in my audience. Be sure to send all your hate mail to [email protected]!
Outro song: The Old Apartment - The Barenaked…
Downsizing Episode 21: Baked Goods For Gag Fetishists
I'm just a Dwight looking for his stapler
Outro Song: Ham 'N' Egg - Tribe Called Quest
Podcast art by Joey Rizk
Downsizing Episode 20: Lean, Mean, Butter, Bean
I'm just a husky Connor McGregor
Outro song: Butterbean - The B52's
Podcast logo by Joey Rizk
Downsizing Episode 19: Kiba Dachi Kombucha
My therapist said she feels like she could hand me a million dollars and even then I wouldn't react. I think that's her way of telling me I'm a bummer.
Outro Song: Kombucha - Soaky Siren
Podcast logo …