Your Inner Child Is An Idiot

Ssssssssssomebody stop me! ... No, seriously. This is our second Jim Carrey movie in a row. Dear god, somebody stop us.

Thank you to our animated Patrons for turning into possessed whirling dervishe…

I don’t know if we’ve watched another movie that made us say, “Jesus...we were pretty terrible when we were tweens”. Out of our butts, of course.

Thank you to our animal-loving Patrons for mugging …

What was the original Gremlins missing? The vocal stylings of Tony Randall!

Thank you to our fun-loving anarchist Patrons for eating after midnight with us, including: Jacob Grimm, Christine in Bro…

Remember how the Grinch hates Christmas because he’s antisocial and The Whos are good-hearted people whose pure love of Christmas changes his heart? What if, instead, The Grinch hates Christmas becau…

Gaslighting Your Family: The Movie! 

Also... surprise! Robin Williams does a bunch of voices. 

Thank you to our hip old granny Patrons for nannying us with their support, including Jacob Grimm, H…

We gather together / to ask The Lord’s blessing; / He chastens and hastens / His will to munch on some grindage.

Thank you to our funky Patrons for weaseling us (?) with their support, including Ja…

In The Witches, a cabal of magical women want to turn every child into a mouse, but there might also be a downside.

Thank you to our spooky Patrons for terrifying us with their support, including J…

The question is: did we love this movie or did we LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUVV this movie?

Thank you to our Patrons for storming the castle and showing us twue wuv with their support, including Jacob Grimm, …

Today, we look back on Willow. It’s pretty much Lord of the Rings, except there’s a baby instead of a ring, Aragorn is an asshole, Gollum is Kevin Pollack, and women actually get something to do.

T…

Gone in 60 Seconds, but with uglier cars.

Thank you to our Patrons for living life a quarter-mile at a time with their support, including Jacob Grimm, Larissa Maestro, Dan McIntyre, Ghosts in the B…

A movie about Nicolas Cage stealing a car he’s dubbed, Eleanor, presumably after first lady and diplomat Eleanor Roosevelt.

Thank you to our stunt-driving Patrons for boosting us with their support…

Classic tale: boy meets girl, boy follows girl to interdimensional fight tournament, boy meets some other girl, boy fights ice-shooting... ...Jesus Christ.

Thank you to our flawlessly victorious Pa…

Very little fighting. None of it on the streets. 

Thank you to our tough-as-nails Patrons for hadouken-ing support our way, including Jacob Grimm, Larissa Maestro, Dan McIntyre, Ghost in the Burbs,…

God? If there is a God... Can you stop controlling the weather and tracking our every minor transgression to help an American League team win, not even the World Series, but the Pennant?

Thank you …

This week we look at the rags-to-riches story of the grandson of a millionaire inheriting an MLB club, then using his clout to force himself in as their coach. In short: relatable.

Thank you to our…

Ghost, Passenger 57, and Luigi team up to teach a small town the power of the color red.

Thank you to our Patrons for teaching us the power of being ourselves, including Jacob Grimm, Larissa Maestr…

This week we look back on the movie that sounds like a kids’ show and gives Damon an excuse to break out his flawless Australian accent.

Sorry... Hees flewlees Esstreeleen eccent.

Thank you to ou…

You ever wondered what it’s like to be a bug? ... What’s that? .... Oh, you already saw Antz? ... Well, this one has Phyllis Diller in it.

Thank you to our Patrons for thinking of the colony above …

Real ants are ugly. With their multiple sets of eyes, alien-like mandibles, and a segmented body perched on spindly legs, they’re the stuff of nightmares. And yet, somehow, they have nothing on the a…

Phenomenon is a classic Flowers for Algernon story: except the mouse is Kyra Sedgwick and the flowers are a brain tumor.

Thank you to our telekinetic Patrons, including Jacob Grimm, Larissa Maestro…