The Podcast of Billionaires

Your family is driving you nuts this holiday season. What are you going to do about it?

1. Strip down and climb into the ceiling in an airport bathroom

2. Destroy an apartment building with a cra…

This week in the Podcast of Billionaires we learn what it is to love again. We also learn that you shouldn't pee on an electric space heater, drive your wingless plane to the bar or poke your live in…

Oh no. One of your friends is trying to tell you that someone is dead. What do you do?

A) Listen to them and show empathy?

B) Hog tie them naked by the side of the road?

C) Beat them with …

You are one attractive kitchen worker at Chili's. What should you do to celebrate?

A) Take off your shirt and start taking pictures.

B) Make a calender of you in women's Halloween costumes.

Last weekend was pretty dull. This weekend is going to be much better. What should you do? (Select all that apply)

• Sharpen your spear
• Criticize a drunk stripper
• Toss a chainsaw at a police cruiser
…

What happens when you get some road rage in Russia?

A) A guy dressed like a pokemon trainer won't get off your lawn.

B) Four mascots pile out of a van and beat the stuffing out of you.

C) Some craz…

It happened again, you spent the evening engaged in bad decision and budding regrets. When you wake up the next morning, which of your activities will make you cringe the most?

A) Cooking meth with…

It’s time to hit the town again. You've got some big plans. What should you do next?

A) Dress up like a penguin and steal some beer.

B) Ask a dude for a cigarette, then stab him with a beer bot…

In this episode we review several bad decisions. Each of them have which of the following?

A) No Pants

B) No Pants

C) No Pants

Hint: It's C. Enjoy the show!

You just can't get anything right today. You've tried to burgle a restaurant and all you've gotten to show for it is the tip jar and a load of cops coming your way. What should you do next?

A) Take…

You are having trouble getting along with your spouse. What should you do?

A) Call the cops and then passive-aggressively carve a watermelon.

B) Put a plastic bag on your head and rob a gas station…

What do you do if you aren't satisfied with your love life?

A) Get drunk and join the TSA

B) Get busy with a lead pipe

C) Make a sad spreadsheet and email it to the entire internet

D) All…

It's hard to hide in the crowd. The NSA, Google, and Facebook all know who we are. Costumes rarely work and face masks make you stand out. What are you going to do? 

A) Gain 400 pounds and driv…

This week's Podcast of Billionaires answers some powerful questions:

How far are you willing to go for a salad?

Why did your parents name you Crystal Metheny?

The ice cream man didn't give you spri…

Which is worse: dressing up like a gorilla and getting shot by a zookeeper, or getting your rear end handed to you in a fight with an 82 year old woman with a golf club. Find out on this week’s episo…

The fast food restaurant doesn't have a fresh cinnamon bun to sell you. What should you do?

A) Buy a hot apple pie instead.

B) Show some self control and skip the treat.

C) Scream a…

So you finally graduated from the Connecticut Academy of Vehicular Theft. What do you do?

A) Move to Florida

B) Steal a Honda Civic

C) Crash into an Alligator

D) Confess your crimes to police...

…

Mom. This episode is for you. We learn about a mother who attacks a random guy with a microwaved corndog. We also review a bunch of gifts for moms. Including the taco necklace, a chocolate Jesus, som…