Flying Free

Is the last thing you googled, “Am I crazy?” or “Why does my husband hate me?” or the literal title of this episode? 

Bleh. Living in such horrible, constant confusion can make us obsessive. Not crazy…

“How Not to Be a Meanie” doesn’t hit the same, does it?

“How Not to Act Out Patriarchal Theology, AKA ‘A Chocolate-Covered Turd’” is probably too long.

And Andrew Bauman wants to get the attention of m…

This may be controversial for some of my audience. Twenty years ago, I may have unsubscribed, not understanding what this was actually about. 

What IS this about? It’s about Who God is. It’s about rep…

Did you know that abuse has a bestie?

Its sneaky little friend is Shame. Shame is a talkative fellow but very dependable. 

He hangs on your earlobes and yells: 

“You’re not perfect, so you can’t point o…

Imagine a world where women are property.

Where they have no rights — not even to defend themselves against abuse or to claim ownership over their minds…to declare, for instance, that they are not ins…

The only reason I’m where I am today — divorced from an abusive husband, healed, remarried to a good man, helping others, and thriving — is because of one simple tool.

I share it in Flying Free and Fl…

It’s a beautiful sight, isn’t it?

A grown man throwing a tantrum. Stomping around, calling you names, slamming doors. 

Hits you right in the feels, eh? 

Or maybe he’s the quiet type of mean. Stonewallin…

“He doesn’t even have to be kind. I just wish he wouldn’t make every waking moment a nightmare. What else can I do?” she said into the phone.

“I don’t know,” her sister said. “You’ve done counseling. …

Hit it with a hammer.

Done. 

If only it were that easy. 

In reality, the cycle of emotional and spiritual abuse feels like a freight train rushing down the tracks of your everyday. An unstoppable force.…

Are you confused over whether you have legitimate grounds for divorce?

How should you respond to people who claim you’re cynical and oversensitive when you try to speak against emotional and spiritual…

Is your husband great at playing dress up? 

One moment, usually in public, he speaks sweetly, cuddles the baby, and prays over your family. The next moment, usually in the privacy of your home, he gla…

Feeling like a moldy lemon? 

Maybe you’re just an onion.

If you've escaped the horror of a destructive relationship, but you still feel numb, anxious, depressed, and like a steaming hot mess...it's eas…

There’s a reason why people say all abuse is physical abuse. Emotional abuse is a double whammy, destroying your mind and your body. 

Long after the abuse stops, you’re still dealing with the fallout.…

What’s it like to experience divorce as a kid?

You’ve heard from me. You’ve heard from experts. You’ve heard from survivors. 

What about the young ones caught in the throes of things they don’t underst…

It took you years, decades maybe, to understand what you were going through. 

It’s no wonder your kids don’t recognize emotional abuse for what it is. 

Especially because they’re wired to trust their d…

As the year ends, the darkness grows. Minute by minute. 

Just before Christmas is the longest night of the year. 

The holidays are celebrations of love and generosity and joy.

But they're also bleak and…

If you’re like me, you were set up for your abusive marriage in the name of love. 

You thought people were teaching you godly womanhood and wisdom. 

You thought following the rules meant you’d experien…

Do you wonder why you feel so angry and defeated about the way your husband treats you? 

It's not cause you were a closet rage monster before you got married. It's not cause you're crazy or demanding …

The holidays can make the hard things harder. The sad things, sadder. The family fights and frustrations and fractures, bigger and deeper and wider. 

They often remind you of all you’ve lost and all y…

“I’ll never heal.”

Has that thought crossed your mind?

There’s too much pain. Too much trauma stored in your body. Too many horrible memories trapped in your mind. It’s an ocean to cross, and you’re ju…