It’s like waking up from a fever dream in which you’re stuck smelling pizza and farts from the top of a roller coaster before a 96º drop to your death.
It’s like only paying $3 for U2 bread, a processed spreadable cheese, and glorious everything bagel potato chips from the back seat of a car in a drive thru.
It’s like telling your stomachist that you’ve eaten fig newtons, cashews with glass, and 50,000 lbs of Charlie the Chicken while sailing on the Hydrogen Iodide seas.
It’s like stabbing yourself over and over with a knife made of french fries while playing a game of Mac N Cheese Twister in a hotel room outside the Apple Tree Headquarters.
It’s like Alexa screaming a nacho recipe at you while you drive to New York to get an ice-cold ketchup drink with thrice-fried chicken on top that glows in the dark.
It’s like a one-way ticket to Disneyland to hug a warm robot made of fast-food vape juice and ballpark food.
Tue 11 Apr 2017
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