Man in the Gap

If I’m honest, I used to parent from pride. From fear. From pressure to get it right.

But the Gospel rewired me.

I don’t lead to control — I lead to serve. I don’t demand obedience — I model grace. I d…

The bag was packed. The caseworker was late. And the house was quiet.

We sat on the couch and just… waited.

He didn’t understand. How could he?

And I didn’t know what to say. So I didn’t say much. Just …

No one warned us that foster care would challenge our marriage more than anything else ever had.

The exhaustion. The disagreements about discipline. The resentment that creeps in when you feel unseen.

…

He buttoned his shirt.

That’s it. That was the win.

But it was the first time in two years he did it without shutting down, melting down, or asking for help.

And when he looked in the mirror and smiled …

There are moments I catch myself raising my voice, laying down consequences, or holding the line — and I see it in his eyes: I’m the bad guy.

And it stings.

Because I didn’t sign up for this to be the …

When all is said and done, I don’t care if they remember my rules.

I hope they remember that I stayed.
That I kept showing up.
That I said “I love you” more times than they could count — even when they …

There are days I feel completely inadequate.

When the behavior is off the charts.
When the system is broken.
When I say the wrong thing, lose my temper, or just want to quit.

And in those moments, the en…

You’re going to feel like you’re failing.

That’s normal.

This journey is going to push you harder than anything else in your life — emotionally, spiritually, mentally.
But you were built for this.

My adv…

Sometimes the questions sting.

• “So… are they yours?”
• “Is this permanent or temporary?”
• “Why would you take that on?”

And you try to answer with grace.
But what you really want to say is — “I’m standing in…

There was a time I thought self-care was selfish.
That taking time for myself meant I was taking something away from my family.
So I didn’t.
And eventually… I broke.

I snapped over something small — a mi…

We were sitting in the car, eating drive-thru fries.

Just another average day.

And out of nowhere, he asked, “Do you think God’s mad at me?”

I felt the lump in my throat instantly.

This wasn’t a behavior…

I grew up believing emotions were either weakness or rebellion.

If you cried, you were soft.

If you questioned something, you were disrespectful.

So when our kids showed big emotions — sadness, anger, c…

I used to think protecting meant controlling.

Control the schedule.

Control the behavior.

Control the outcome.

But the more I tried to control… the more it backfired.

The more he resisted.

The more I saw f…

It was his birthday.

We baked the cake, wrapped the gifts, decorated the kitchen.

But when he came downstairs, he looked overwhelmed.

Not excited — anxious.

I didn’t get it at first.

But later, I learned …

Every night, I ask the same question: “Do you want a story or a prayer?”

Sometimes the answer is both.

Sometimes it’s just “no.”

But I always ask. Because asking matters.

It started as a routine — a way …

I used to want to fix everything.

The behavior. The attitude. The schoolwork. The bedtime chaos.

I saw myself as a repairman — show up, diagnose, apply wisdom, move on.

But then I hit wall after wall.

No…

He was supposed to be in timeout.

Instead, I found him standing on the dining room table… singing worship music at the top of his lungs.

No pants. Just joy.

And I couldn’t help it — I laughed so hard I …

I thought I was the teacher.

Turns out… I’m the student more often than not.

I’ve watched a child who came from chaos learn how to self-regulate.

I’ve seen a kid who used to punch walls now ask for a hu…

People always say, “You’re so strong.”

But they don’t see the cost of that strength.

They don’t see the silent car rides after a tough court hearing.

Or the tears wiped away in the bathroom so the kids …

He didn’t mean to say it.

It just… slipped out.

We were getting out of the car, and he turned back and said, “Hey Dad, can you—”

Then he froze. Looked down. Mumbled, “Sorry.”

But I heard it.

And it wrecke…