ATARI BYTES

Much like the unnamed karate-practitioner in Broderbund's 1988 port of KARATEKA for the Atari 7800, my moves are lightning fast and totally ineffectual. But we both look great with bare feet. Bunions…

Episode 149 offers up GOPHER, a 1982 U.S. Games title for those among us who long to bash in the brains of a furry little creature with a shovel. 

In the game, you are a farmer defending your carrot …

What goes better with reheated Thanksgiving leftovers than the disturbing jelled, canned cranberry podcast equivalent ATARI BYTES?

If I had to venture a guess, I'd say this week's episode IS THE SING…

Take a deep breath and bend over to touch your toes! Your tic-tac-toes, that is. And 1 and 2 and 1 and 2...

This week on episode 147, we're playing an early Atari effort from 1978: 3D TIC-TAC-TOE. Wa…

Despite the waves of political unrest, some 8 million tourists visit Egypt every year to take in such amazing sites as the Great Sphinx. Therefore, when the listener stats come in for episode 146 of …

This week on episode 145 of ATARI BYTES, we dive deep into the valley of the poisonous mountain cacti (plural for cactus) that is the intersection of philosophy and science. For example:

If the unive…

We've got a spook-tacular Halloween-ish episode this week. You won't get any candy, but it could be worse. You could get a bag full of rocks. (Sorry, Charlie Brown)

We scare ourselves silly* with the…

This week on episode 143, we get a demonstration of what happens when you title a game by smashing two words together to create a third word. 

This week's game is ASTROBLAST, an unholy union of "astr…

In "Ghostbusters", Rick Moranis told Sigourney Weaver he was the key master. Well, cool as Rick was, he's got nothing on you, my friend. For, with a little luck, you can be the STARMASTER.

This week,…

You got to know when to hold 'em. Know when to fold 'em. Know when to walk away. Know when to run. 

Then prepare to get laughed at and possibly shot by the dudes you're playing with at the Old West s…

This week's episode is dedicated to tennis great Serena Williams, who was beaten recently by a young upstart. Serena, if you're listening (and reading those show notes), you are welcome to come play …

"Wouldn't you rather play a nice game of chess?" - Joshua, the WOPR US defense computer, speaking to Matthew Broderick in "Wargames".

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once i…

Sometimes, the setups for these blurbs write themselves.

Are you ready?

Here we go.

This week's game is Atari's 1988 offering for the 7800 console CRACK'ED. Join us to find out if this game is all it…

This week, we're battling the flagship of the Galagan fleet on ATARI BYTES, the flagship of all the podcasts on the Internet.*

*Might not be the actual flagship.**

**The podcast is mostly just tolera…

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the podcatcher…

ATARI BYTES Episode 136 SHARK ATTACK (formerly known as LOCHJAW) is circling ever closer to its prey - I mean its listener - offering…

If your lock is warped, do you need a skeleton key with scoliosis to open it?

We have many questions in episode 135, WARPLOCK from Date Age, 1982. None of which will be answered.

How will the ship ge…

In 2018, the ATARI BYTES podcast life support systems malfunctioned, freezing the host and leaving him in suspended animation. When he was revived five hundred years later, no one had a podcast app.

…

In Episode 133 of Atari Bytes, we release our bopper! 

It's both creepy and cosmic, man!

Our game this week is COSMIC CREEPS from Telesys, 1982. Your orbinaut must save the cosmic kids from the space…

Imagine slimy worms maneuvering blindly through the topsoil, pooping and plotting the demise of civilization. Not unlike this podcast.

In episode 132 of ATARI BYTES, we're playing the 1982 20th Centu…

Yodelayheehoo! The hills are alive with the sound of...sparse, but integral music in episode 131, MOUNTAIN KING. 

This 1983 CBS Electronics game boasts a dark cave, diamonds, spirts, both flame and s…