The Heartless Knaves
The Heartless Knaves is a new dark fantasy audiobook podcast featuring clever heists, gory scraps, sad bits, saucy bits, murderous nuns, talking donkeys, and an 8-year-old boy king who won’t take no for an answer.
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
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- Update frequency
- every 6 days
- Average duration
- 42 minutes
- Episodes
- 41
- Years Active
- 2024
Chapter 19: Ships In The Night
The nineteenth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Patrick encounters the sea, Thorsten and Marco find themselves some lodgings, and Nanny refuses to say goodbye.
Expect Silkin being both sweet and…
Chapter 18: Cut Your Cloth Accordingly
The eighteenth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Mildri, Jarn and Old Slag deliver the results of their labour...
Expect Silkin being both sweet and a little bit annoying, Jarn getting some horns…
Chapter 17: Clear As Mud
The seventeenth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Nanny goes to Lludden for the day, The Other is reunited with his body, and Umbrago has his much-needed bath.
Expect a chance meeting on a very o…
Chapter 16: One Good Turn
The sixteenth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which the Master of Revels is roused in the night, the gang reunite at the Sunken Abbey, and Umbrago stays up well past his bed time.
Expect to meet Beni…
Chapter 15: He Who Fails To Prepare
The fifteenth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which an Archbishop tries to exercise his perversion, Sally and Silkin wend their way home, and Diesirae has a training session with a difference...
Expe…
Chapter 14: Strange Bedfellows
The fourteenth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Umbrago is a creep, Diesirae has some alone time, and the good folk of Sudwork once again encounter The Other...
Expect a queen mother being terro…
Chapter 13: Preaching To The Converted
The thirteenth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Sally and Silkin go to spy on Vestran's carriages, Rooks sends a letter, and Herild welcomes the gang to Formhall.
Expect stories of Silkin's chil…
Chapter 12: Without Fear Or Favour
The twelfth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Marco wakes up in a sewer in an unenviable situation, and The Order of the Fens gets down to business.
Expect some sinister internal voices, rain, de…
Chapter 11: A Change Of Heart
The eleventh chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Diesirae faces up to some uncomfortable truths and Sally undertakes her Second Vow.
Expect angry urination, conspiratorial men in hoods, plenty of b…
Chapter 10: Eye Of The Beholder
The tenth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Father Nikodemus acquires a new mount, Brian gets jealous, and Silkin and Rooks head into town.
Expect Sally to be annoyed, Griselda the cat to get a b…
Chapter 9: In A Velvet Glove
The ninth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Diesirae has a riding lesson, King Umbrago throws his weight around, and Marco's day goes from already very bad to much, much worse...
Expect a handsom…
Chapter 8: Hell For Leather
The eighth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Mildri tans some leather, Rooks acquires some rudimentary footwear, and Silkin gets a snazzy new outfit...
Expect a slightly mellower chapter this wee…
Chapter 7: Irons In The Fire
The seventh chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Nanny drinks a cup of tea, Rooks explains how he communicates, and Sally feels sidelined...
Expect a conversation with a goat, Christopher in fresh t…
Chapter 6: Paint The Town
The sixth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which we reconnect with Marco, guard at the Grey Keep, who's been given the night off...
Expect some detective work, several sex workers, pie, gravy, and a l…
Chapter 5: The Hand That's Dealt
The fifth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Nanny provides lunch, Nikodemus lays down some groundrules, and Silkin and Rooks get a little bit of clarity.
Expect Christopher being afraid, Sally ta…
Chapter 4: A Thousand Words
The fourth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which a painting from a foreign court makes its way to the Grey Keep, enabling Diesirae, the Pale Princess herself, to finally lay eyes on her betrothed.
Ex…
Chapter 3: Cheat The Worms
The third chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Christopher, Sally and Father Nikodemus join Nanny, a Grand Mother Superior, to do a spot of make do and mend.
Expect a few toots, a little self-flagel…
Chapter 2: A Woman's Work
The second chapter of The Pale Princess, in which we meet Sally, who, dressed as a washerwoman, sneaks into a very important castle to get up to some well-planned mischief.
Cue a little bit of magic, …
Chapter 1: No Rest For The Wicked
The first chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Christopher, a young grave-robber, does the midnight bidding of Father Nikodemus, a hoary old priest with a penchant for alchemy, trickery, and long-p…
Chapter 0: Introducing The Heartless Knaves
A warm welcome to the world of The Heartless Knaves, a new dark fantasy audiobook podcast and novel from Martin Vaux.
In this short introductory episode, discover the purpose and nature of the project…