A Bushel of Pizza, Please
It’s like waking up from a fever dream in which you’re stuck smelling pizza and farts from the top of a roller coaster before a 96º drop to your death.
Easy Peasy Quesadillsy
It’s like filling out your dating profile with your most hated food, your ideal chip flavor, your ideal water flavor, and hot chicken.
Big Ken's Bacon Weekend
It’s like you popped and you can’t stop wearing a VR headset in the Kitchen while eating oreos, 6 egg tacos, and 24 Jack in the Box tacos.
Put Me in a Microwave
It’s like eating a large chicken with your mutant aunt while watching the eclipse in VR at a baseball stadium.
United Sandwiches of America
It’s like looking directly into the sun after trying Everything chips at the Iowa State Fair and paying too much for a burger.
Livin' Velveeta Loca
It’s like only paying $3 for U2 bread, a processed spreadable cheese, and glorious everything bagel potato chips from the back seat of a car in a drive thru.
Kenny Breaks Kyle's NDA
It’s like trying to relax on a weekend by watching a trailer for a movie where a bear races to get the first FastPass from every ride at Disneyland.
Is a Lobster a Bug?
It’s like getting a pre-portioned meal with cheese, caviar, breakfast ketchup, and a burger with pizza buns delivered to your door via waterslide.
It's Not Pickle Sweat
It’s like adding Top Ramen Pringles, the NutZoom, a grape slicer, boozy ice cream, and a second thumb to your Amazon cart while driving.
GAK™ Alley
It’s like playing Donkey Kong Country while drinking Spicy Watermelon Lemonade on Spinsanity eating a Porkle with Breakfast Salsa.
Chocolate Newton
It’s like telling your stomachist that you’ve eaten fig newtons, cashews with glass, and 50,000 lbs of Charlie the Chicken while sailing on the Hydrogen Iodide seas.
Jellopeño™
It’s like getting back from vacation after barfing up a mile-long pizza all over a boat, a building, and a plane.
National Milk Julep Day
It’s like carrying a bunch of boxes of candy through the bridge of the Enterprise in VR to the bow of the Enterprise and hoping to not get sea sick.
Lunchtime Hustle
It’s like eating stale twister fries covered in contaminated cheese before getting on the Wave Breaker™ and listening to the Golden Eye OST.
The Incredible Journey
It’s like trying to find your way back home with a sassy cat while eating charcoal-flavored sliders while plunging 125ft into a hot and spicy soup.
Mac N Cheese Twister
It’s like stabbing yourself over and over with a knife made of french fries while playing a game of Mac N Cheese Twister in a hotel room outside the Apple Tree Headquarters.
Join Us
Get…
Blacklight Mozzarella
It’s like Alexa screaming a nacho recipe at you while you drive to New York to get an ice-cold ketchup drink with thrice-fried chicken on top that glows in the dark.
Join Us
Get the lat…
Donkey Kong Baseball 64
It’s like jumping over a catcher with golf balls in your mouth wearing VR goggles at the Grand Canyon into a pan of paella.
Headlines
I Am the Mayonnaise Phoenix
It’s like getting to skip school to ride the train in a closet with only your high school friends to a rice ball shop covered in hot cheeto dust.
Headlines
Who Wants to Hug a Pirate?
It’s like a one-way ticket to Disneyland to hug a warm robot made of fast-food vape juice and ballpark food.