Since You Asked: Uncommon Advice from Cary Tennis

Do you feel like life will never return to normal? Does the future seem like a dim, unending nightmare of isolation? Do you fear that the habits we have acquired will forever dampen the bright sponta…

Right-wing violence, insurrection, irrational fury: President Trump stirred the flames. But he didn't create the pain and disillusionment underneath it all.  Why are so many Americans in pain? Why ar…

How to balance our grief about the pandemic with the desire for happiness and normalcy? How to remain whole and vital and strong when the world seems to be falling apart? Where is the line between st…

I continue to heal from my hospitalization, and realize what there is in this moment to be thankful for  ... regardless of how  crazy the world has gone ...

Support the show

Hello Friends, This is a short podcast-only edition just to let you know that I am now home after five weeks in the Italian hospital, that I am recovering slowly, expecting to be good as new eventual…

Dear Cary,
I have a question about apathy. For years it has been my most loyal companion. I have dreams, visions, I have talents – all of which fall short because I simply do not get around to anythin…

Dear Reader,
In 1997, Norma and I were standing in the garage of the house we’d recently bought, out on 48th Avenue and Ortega in San Francisco, a foggy, flat, sea-washed landscape of mid-20th century…

This is the audio track I published on Salon.com in November, 2000, about hosting the election in our San Francisco garage.--CT

Support the show

Dear Listener,
Usually I write an advice column and then I make a podcast from it. But this week, what I needed to say was better just spoken. I could get into it better. I could feel it in my chest a…

Dear Cary,
I'm wondering if I should leave America as soon as possible to avoid whatever may happen during and after the election in November.

It feels like Fascism.

I would love to know what you think.
…

Dear reader,

This week I have received no letters asking for advice.

So instead of a column, here is a scene from the novel Famous Actress Disappears. Which I started writing on the N-Judah streetcar i…

Dear Cary,
I'm writing about a frustration that no one I know--including my spouse, family, and friends--seems to understand. I have my dream job. My current work might be the thing I was put on this …

Dear Cary,
I have spent the past several-plus years drawing and painting and finally acquiring enough discipline and self-regard to give myself time to make art.

I have been pleased with my progress. I…

Dear Cary,

You get a lot of unusual letters so perhaps you will not be shocked to receive one from me. I know you quite well, well enough to know there are many things that you conceal from me. But ra…

“Dear Cary, When I was divorced and single, I took weekly writing and music classes and I learned how to be completely independent. Eventually I found my true soulmate, we married and we are very hap…

Dear Cary,

What do you think about Covid and Black Lives Matter in terms of historical perspective? I think that the Black Death in the Middle Ages paved the way for the Renaissance. 

Is what we are go…

Dear Cary,

I didn't know who my father was until I was 44. The “father” I had was a man who married my mother when I was 2, and adopted me when I was 6. I found out at 14 that he wasn't my father, but…

Dear Cary, 

I am a twice-divorced 54-year-old woman entrepreneur who supports herself through the practice of her craft.  I have a 17-year-old daughter. She is bright, creative, articulate, sleeps a l…

Dear Cary, I’m feeling guilty these days about how comfortable my pandemic experience is. I mean, I feel the weight of the chaos going on, for sure. But my family is healthy, our home is comfortable,…

Dear Cary,

Why is it that when I tell people they need to wear a face mask, I’m the one who ends up feeling terrible? ...

Support the show