Playing With Fire

There is no one way for relationships to work. What does "work" even mean, really? That is up to the people in the relationship. In this episode, we explore some of the common labels people use to de…

In the second part of a mini-series about shame, Joli shares some vulnerability as we go into her feelings about the rocky early years of our relationship, and the final years of our respective first…

In the first of a mini-series about shame, we aren’t holding back! The feeling of shame has kept parts of Ken hidden from Joli for years even though we’ve been consciously working on it. This isn’t s…

Sexual fantasies are exciting, but not everyone feels comfortable sharing them with their partner. This week we are talking about how we figured out what each of us needs in order to feel safe to sha…

Joli studied consensual non-monogamies as a research psychologist but it is also an important part of our personal relationship design. In this episode, we are talking about what it takes to go from …

Joli studied consensual non-monogamies as a research psychologist but it is also an important part of our personal relationship design. We are talking about what intimacy means when you no longer hav…

To kick off season 2 we are responding to a request from a listener who asked "Why are you polyamorous?" Joli studied consensual non-monogamies as a research psychologist but it is also an important …

In the wrap-up for season 1, Joli and Ken are sharing what it feels like to share their relationship ups and downs with the world. The biggest lessons are often scary to talk about, even years later.…

Episode 12 is about failure and what happens when we judge our relationship success only by how long it lasts. Endings and transitions can be extremely challenging, especially when we imagine that an…

In episode 11 we are talking about money and how hard it can be to say what needs to be said when we share finances and responsibility for a household. Going from terrified and even dishonest money h…

Working together, whether you are running a business together or just working from the same home office puts a bright spotlight on relationship weaknesses. In this episode, Joli and Ken are talking a…

Even the word fighting can make people uncomfortable. But relationships are messy and people are complicated. In this episode, Ken and Joli talk about how they find ways to love each other better, bu…

Sex is a spot that easily leads to misunderstandings, even for a couple who are on the same page in so many ways! In this episode, Ken and Joli talk about how one seemingly-simple question led to a t…

Having two different communication styles is a recipe for misunderstandings and hurt feelings. We had to learn the super-hard way how to ask for what we need and how to set the stage for a successful…

When holiday stress feels overwhelming I've had the impulse to turn away from my partner and just hunker down in my overloaded psyche. Learning how to courageously lean into the feeling of want is a …

The holiday season is awesome... and practically tragic in its ability to leave us feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, and disconnected. In this episode, we talk about how we managed to bring joy back t…

What is it about love that keeps us assuming that we already know each other, even though we are changing and living in a changing world? Joli and Ken work on how can we keep our relationship pleasur…

Boundaries are an invitation to intimacy but the holidays can make it feel like your boundaries have no place in life. The gravity of tradition can get in the way of checking in with ourselves about …

Owning our *stuff* around the holidays is hard. Joli and Ken are sharing stories about navigating big feelings, a busy family, and old family patterns that pop up at the least helpful times. Learning…

In episode 1 we are sharing stories about how we've worked on wanting a more-than-okay relationship. Joli and Ken talk about how they combined holiday traditions and how hard it has been to make spac…