Hard Choices
From the creators of Smash Fiction, it's horniness meets science! We examine a fictional universe and rank the f*ckability of the characters to determine the true median on our collective boner scale. Who exactly is the middle of the pack in Lord of the Rings? Who is the middle ground of sexiness in the Marvel Cinematic Universe? Just where does the horniness middle fall in Game of Thrones? We bring together a diverse array of sexualities, rank the characters, crunch the numbers, and find out truly wild and surprising things about everyone's internal boner-meter along the way.
- Update frequency
- every 24 days
- Average duration
- 105 minutes
- Episodes
- 59
- Years Active
- 2021 - 2025
Hard Choices 18 - Movie Monsters
Halloween is just Valentine's Day for monsterfuckers, and a very horny Halloween it is too! To celebrate the bounty of the season, our hosts gathered up 21 of the most hair-raising horrors ever commi…
Hard Choices 17 - Mascots
It is I, the Hamburglar!
Where is MeganBob? Safe and content, I assure you. True, after they plumbed the depths of their desire for commercial mascots in this episode, I whisked them away to my pers…
Hard Choices 16 - The Muppets
You know, when MeganBob suggested this episode, a lot of the other hosts thought they were joking. Not one to be discouraged, they found three erotic galaxy brains willing to make a "Rainbow Connecti…
Hard Choices 15 - Nicolas Cage Characters
Happy Cagemas in...Well, let's call it July overtime, shall we? Sure, it's a cynical cash-grab to double up on Cagemas by doing Cagemas in July, but we never apologize for double-stuffing here on Har…
Hard Choices 14 - Final Fantasy VI
In our unending quest to understand fuckability, the Hard Choices crew plucked out a list of notable characters from the Nintendo masterpiece Final Fantasy VI and got down to some fantasizing of our …
Hard Choices 13 - Musicals
Some mediums are just too fuckable. Can you really walk past an orchestra pit, playbill in hand, and not feel a stirring in your loins? We didn't think so! That's why we gathered 21 notable character…
Hard Choices 12 - Doctor Who
Welcome to a very timey wimey episode where we take the entire long history of the Doctor Who franchise and do to it what Jack Harkness only wishes he could. We gathered up 21 characters from a wide …
Hard Choices 11 - The Mummy Trilogy
1999 called and it says "hey babe, remember me?" and yes, yes we do. We remember the exact moment when The Mummy first crashed into our lives and touched us in ways we couldn't yet fully articulate. …
Hard Choices 10 - Disney Villains
It may be too late in February for Valentine's Day, but it's never too late for Villaintine's Day. That's right, we brought together four "Poor Unfortunate Souls" and asked them to rank the fuckabili…
Hard Choices 9 - Mortal Kombat
Hard Choices 8 - Cats the Musical
In this episode, we prowl the back alleys of London to get to the bottom of one of Andrew Lloyd Webber's defining musicals: Cats. We didn't leave Tom Hooper out of this though, because, for this epis…
Hard Choices 7 - The Justice League of America
Straight from an edition of the Daily Planet that Lex Luthor definitely wouldn't want you to see comes the Hard Choices rankings of 21 of the most notable members of the Justice League of America. Bu…
Patreon is Here!
We've got a Patreon! It's aimed at keeping the show sustainable, covering hosting costs, and making weird new stuff possible! Patrons get some nice perks and help guide some of the show decisions! If…
Hard Choices 6 - Vampires
This episode of Hard Choices has to be invited into your feed because this time Kris Newton, Kit, Claire Mulkerin, and MeganBob are ranking 21 of media's most interesting vampires. No amount of holy …
Hard Choices 5 - Mass Effect
I'm Commander Shepard and this is my favorite episode on the Citadel. The Mass Effect universe is notoriously horny. This dating sim masquerading as a first person shooter offers all the juicy aliens…
Hard Choices 4 - Game of Thrones
Winter is coming in this dragon-sized episode of Hard Choices, Miles Schneiderman and MeganBob are joined by special guests from The Unspoiled Podcast network, Natasha Winters and Krista Contino-Saum…
Hard Choices 3 - Marvel Cinematic Universe
Boners assemble! It's time to rank the fuckability of the Marvel Cinematic Universe and the team of Claire, Kit, and Dan Mulkerin, along with MeganBob, are ready to romance one of the most expansive …
Hard Choices 2 - 90's Star Trek
The second installment of Hard Choices is on the viewscreen and it’s a doozy. Join Miles Schneiderman and Ensign MeganBob, along with special guests Sharon Schneiderman and Kris Newton, as they beam …
Hard Choices 1 - Lord of the Rings
Welcome to Hard Choices, a podcast appearing approximately whenever the mood strikes and guaranteed to explore new vistas of horniness! In this episode, Miles Schneiderman, Kit MeganBob, and special …