Everything Is Real, by Garbage Brain University

Emotions: experiments, how to keep them mellow, how to Ben Franklin them, and more.

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Why the Cincinnati Castle is for idiots! Also: White Castle, sandcastles, bunkers, moats, woods, and all of the dirty business of castles, old and new.

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Why nothing humans make will last, why spiders are the worst bugs, why people perceive almost nothing, how spiders make silk, the ongoing cloaca situation, and what humans could do if we could make t…

Blood tests, birds exploding, and other reasons not to like weddings.

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• natalie & drew

Pigeon races, camel races, racewalking, swimming, nude biking, and all the other races that have ever existed. Which one would you be in?

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Would you become a cannibal? We talk about all the important parts of cannibalism: bioaccumulation, taste, Big Lurch, Christ Bearer, and chickens eating chickens. Also, prions, pour-overs, and the sh…

People love hippos… but should they? We look deeply into the hippo-dolphin connection, why they spray feces, why Drew doesn’t believe in wind chill, and why people love the lowest common denominator.…

But first, books: what came before them? Who invented them (not Gutenberg, obviously?) Who invented spaces between words? Why did the Roman Empire fall? Why are we here? What comes after this? In ten…

Emojis, in their short life online, have accomplished a lot. We talked our favorite emojis, “internet tone,” why they don’t have a nose, passive aggression, why the smiley face is copyrighted, Natali…

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How many twins are there? Why do mammals have them? And what goes down at the Kentucky Pig Derby? We answer questions on these, dox the Dick Boys, and Drew creates a plan for neighbors to raise child…

Welcome to the shitty holiday season! We talked about why they’re usually on Monday, why Natalie likes Flag Day, why Drew hates the flag, mini eggs, Bezos, Columbus Day, Jack Nicklaus, and the secret…

Anteaters: I don’t like the look of them! Giant anteaters, silky anteaters, what the Wall Street Journal thinks of us, why Salvador Dali had an anteater, how they make more anteaters, and all about t…

What is Reality Television? We take a look at the metaphysics of reality television, the Great Reality TV Con, linguistic shifts in confined populations, cops, and give you the details of our brand-n…

Get in touch with dirt! Natalie & Drew talk about gardening, plastic animals, rosemary, the heaven of a huge dirt pile, and what happens when you buy a raw whole chicken from Amazon.

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Having a great time with lizards! (Just kidding, lizards aren’t any fun.) Why Natalie doesn’t want to touch them, what Drew’s lizard was like, a lizard quiz, and the answers to all the lizard questio…

What do beavers smell like? Who is more pious, Drew or Natalie? And how do you hold a beaver? Also: high risk texting, beaver dams, human nature, Jeff Bezos’s space lie, Keyboard Cat, zoomer pants, a…

Welcome to 2022! We talk septic tanks, garbage disposals, not pooping on trips, boycotts, pony kegs, and why we’re not any smarter than ancient people. Also: the first quiz of the year!

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Time loss! Time dilation! And actual time travel. We talk about these as well as aliens’ ability to time travel, the Vatican’s chronovisor, John Titor, magick as relating to the wave function, gravit…

Natalie & Drew go inside the secret world of magicians to find out: Why are they so corny? Why do they want to impress people so much? What secret club did Drew try to join fruitlessly for years? Als…