Backwater Bastards: An Actual Play Podcast

Backwater Studios

A team of artists telling THE GREATEST BEST FRIEND STORY that the galaxy has ever seen!

While everybody else is out saving the world, we’re just trying to find the next best place to eat.

Join us on our haphazard adventure.

Science Fiction Leisure Comedy Improv Games Fiction

Update frequency: every 11 days
Average duration: 83 minutes
Episodes: 155
Years Active: 2020 - 2025

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S1E32: I'm Naked

Turns out, The Bastards and their new friends are big fans of hotels. They are not big fans, of paying, or answering the phone. Follow our crew through a maze of avoidance, as they sample the wares o…

02:11:33 | Thu 07 Jan 2021

Dear Bastards

Dear Bastards, The advice show you never knew you needed. ...Or wanted. (Dear Bastards is an experimental sample segment! Join our team as their Orbital Refuse characters, as they answer questions th…

00:34:56 | Fri 25 Dec 2020

S1E31: Everything's a Costume

Our customs horror saga continues, with Cleo, Dr. Ze, and the nefarious nineteen of Clan Zarg stuck together in a line. Somewhere, beyond the pearly sterile gates of immigration- Herodotus waters him…

02:03:21 | Thu 24 Dec 2020

S1E30: The One At Customs

Our Bastards have made it across the universe, through multiple galaxies- past, out, and, through the clutches of multiple nefarious agents of doom- aaand straight into the actual fire of border cont…

01:43:07 | Thu 17 Dec 2020

S1E29: The Dorro!

After a daring rescue by a mercenary guild- the Bastards board their ship and Herodotus makes a move! Taking down the enemy spacecraft as they negotiate a higher cut- ("negotiate" being a loosely use…

02:21:49 | Thu 10 Dec 2020

S1E28: Anything can be Anything

Deep inside the synth body factory, the battle against the honey boy rages on- as a rogue AI takes its wild revenge on our humble travelers. Things start to look up as our team learns to assemble, wi…

02:02:06 | Thu 03 Dec 2020

S1E27: The Honey Boy

Our intrepid explorers venture further into the labyrinthine belly of the body factory- hot on the trail of the... Honey. Well, partially. Dr. Ze is still tracking down his new kicks, and despite a f…

01:36:58 | Thu 26 Nov 2020

S1E26: The 38th Smell

Our intrepid team has once again escaped the gaping maw of battle unscathed! Well- Except for Dr. Ze who has lost most of his mechanical body! So, somewhat scathed! Dr. Ze, bravely existing in a... b…

01:54:37 | Thu 19 Nov 2020

S1E25: As Big as an Elephant

This is a story of endings. The ending of the saga of the jelly people and their expensive guano problem. The ending of a great aerial assault! And the ending, of a passionate, sordid affair between …

02:13:59 | Thu 12 Nov 2020

S1E24: I'm wearing GLASSES

Part 3 of the Cleo and Dr. Ze friendship origin saga! Turns out, the Prison King and his crew weren’t the only obstacles in between Dr. Ze, Cleo, and those ships. Looks like the guards want to pull u…

01:53:43 | Thu 05 Nov 2020

S1E23: Soup's back on the menu!

Part 2 of the Cleo and Dr. Ze friendship origin saga! The Prison King and his weird little army are the only things standing in between Dr. Ze and Cleo’s big escape! The battle lines have been drawn…

02:02:39 | Thu 08 Oct 2020

S1E22: Cleo, Dr. Ze, and Spines

Part 1 of the Cleo and Dr. Ze friendship origin saga! Many years ago in a star system far, far, away- Dr. Ze met Cleo in a backspace high-security prison. Being individuals of such... High creative …

02:05:12 | Thu 24 Sep 2020

S1E21: Orbital Planetary News

We break your regular viewing for an urgent announcement. Eric Rhodes has been sighted! It really is imperative that we derail from the scheduled programming for just a moment, but this is an interga…

00:06:11 | Thu 17 Sep 2020

S1E20: Dirty Herry I

Cleo is gonna blow some ship up! Ze is about to perform surgery, and Herodotus is caught staring at an old Lover. Our Bastards are in a pickle now, but this time they are fighting for the right reaso…

02:12:49 | Thu 10 Sep 2020

S1E19: The Diplomat

Endeared to the Jelly people by Cleo's love of pterodactyls, The Bastards continue their diplomatic mission from Monty into the secret mountain lair. Touring through the complex labyrinth of the Jell…

01:26:20 | Thu 03 Sep 2020

S1E18: Monty

Good ol' Herodotus is bringing home the bacon! Or... Well, he's got a guy for that. Herry's old brother-in-arms from his troopin' days has come calling - and he needs some muscle. Obviously, the Bast…

02:14:51 | Wed 26 Aug 2020

S1E17: Short Rest

It's been a long string of journeys- and our Bastards have earned a short rest to recap and catch up, both in-game and out. Want more content like this? Join the Patreon for more exclusive episodes a…

00:32:34 | Wed 12 Aug 2020

S1E16: The Replicant Part 2 [feat. Lucas]

Continuing the two-part sci-fi CREEPSHOW of corporate decay and mysterious patrons. Guest DM Lucas Duff continues to lead The Bastards through the dark hallways of an abandoned factory, looking for..…

01:21:53 | Thu 30 Jul 2020

S1E15: The Replicant Part 1 [feat. Lucas]

Join us and DM Lucas from Ballad of the Seven Dice as we begin to trek into a dangerous abandoned research station to look for a body. It shouldn't be that hard, right? - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite t…

01:07:53 | Wed 29 Jul 2020

S1E14: I Got Blasted at Bengaman's [feat. SETH]

The PARTY RAGES ON with the third and final event in our birthday saga. The time of the laser tag and the bowling has passed. The carnage left in those great theatres of battle was only a shade of th…

01:21:20 | Thu 23 Jul 2020

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