Art Sistory

How does one man's art go from petty theater dressings to gracing every teens' phone case and tumblr background? Well, all it takes is talent, sugar daddies, luck, and call from the one and only Sara…

Have you ever seen somebody so hot you think, hey, that can't be real? That's not allowed! That should be impossible! Well, neither had we until we saw THE QUEEN!! The Bust of Nefertiti (1345) is lik…

The Severan Tondo (200) will blow ya goddamn mind. First of all, it features the family of the Roman Emperor, Septimus Severus, a guy who won the throne after the bloody Year of the 5 Emperors. But t…

On the finale of our Russia extravaganza, Danni takes us to the most famous painting in the Hermitage, Danaë (1636)! Now she looks a little... melted.. now but that doesn't mean she doesn't contain m…

The Church of the Savior on Spilled Blood is the most rock n' roll church in all of Russia. And it's not just the name, Spilled Blood has the chutzpah to back it up. She's got gingerbread aesthetic, …

We made it to Europe! And our first stop: Fabergé Eggs. Who made 'em? Who were they for? And why are these dumb little things so expensive?! Danni is here to tell you all about it! And it's much more…

New Orleans always got music playin', start in the daytime go all through the night. Especially abouts the witching hour when the haunting sound of a funeral hymn comes from the St. Louis Cathedral. …

If you've ever been to New Orleans, you may have seen this dog. Just a yellow eyed little so-and-so plastering every hotel, street corner, and restaurant! So why is he so famous? Well, Danni is here …

By this point you must know that Art Sistory loves America, the greatest country in the world. We've got all our pals to thank for that: Tommy J, Benji Frank, Lin Manuel Miranda. But no one can forge…

This episode is about two things: our beautiful perfect country and bad art! Yes this portrait of Paul Revere (1768) may look just like Jack Black (and it is Jack Black) but that doesn't stop Danni f…

Have you ever wondered what 39 famous and influential women's vaginas look like? Well you're in luck!! The Dinner Party (1979) by Judy Chicago is just that! Unless you want to see any women of color …

Madame X is an unconventional beauty! Completely unpaintable! And hopelessly lazy! But she can do whatever she wants. Why? Well it's not just because she's wealthy. Her soul is rich. She knows it. Jo…

Rosa Bonheur is the original feminist, lesbian, butch, farmcore, horse girl and we must all praise her. She grew up worshiping socialist jesus. She was openly married to her childhood sweetheart, Nat…

What is in an expression? Is it pride? Sadness? Anger? Love? Why not all at once! Today we discuss our first piece at The Met, "Juan De Pareja" (1650), a captivating portrait by none other than Diego…

Have you ever thought you were going to a house and ended up in an endless horror maze cooked up by a mad man boy child? Well that's what happened to us when we showed up at The House on the Rock in …

The only original Praxiteles sculpture might just be in Cleveland, Ohio. Or it might be a 19th century lawn gnome. We may never know. And Cleveland certainly isn't telling us. Welcome to our newest e…

Have you ever seen a big big mirror bean and thought, this is the center of a giant art battle between good and evil? Well it is! "Cloud Gate" (2006), otherwise known as The Bean, was created by a bi…

This is it. Perhaps the best art? At the very least, it's better than Degas. "The Child's Bath" (1893) by Mary Cassatt is the art that convinced baby Danni to be an artist. Get ready for some in dept…

"American Gothic" (1930). You know this painting. You've seen this painting. It's got memes, it's got parodies, it's got everything. And it's just a boring portrait of two farmers! Right....? No way!…

Max Beckmann just can't catch a break! Becoming a medic in WWI, a bunch of nazis calling his art trash, getting exiled from home, being forced to deal with the US visa system! It would drive anyone t…