Action Science Theatre

“Satellite, satelliiiite, of looooove…” Lou Reed was, no doubt, thinking about the launch of the first satellite, Sputnik, when he wrote those seminal words in 1972 (he may have written them before 1…

If I told you to put some of your bodily fluids in a bag and send it to me, what would you say? You absolute animal.

Nowadays you can do this, and some chap or chapette will tell you everything you’v…

Space exploration. When you think about it, it’s just like darts. Hurling projectiles into the dark depths hoping to get  a treble-twenty. You could get glory, or end up drinking in a pub on a Tuesda…

The desert. Unchanged for millions of years. Yet witness to a prophecy come true. That one day, people will dig and find stuff. And some of that stuff will be interesting.

Get out your shovel, scratc…

What things remind you of Christmas? Holly? Mince pies? Mulled wine? Crabs?

Prepare to enter a new era of Christmas where we huddle around the fire and eat crabs and cranberry sauce. Of course, what …

Have you been talking about me? You have, haven’t you? Behind my back! To everyone! You’ve been talking about the noise I make when I eat kippers! Never trust anyone. That’s what my financial adviser…

Pluto! Pluto! Here, Pluto!

Pluto is a long way away, and is a barren, featureless rock. No wait, that’s Australia (just kidding, kangaroo lovers!).

Some people can’t make up their minds about things.…

Sex. It’s everywhere. Whilst you’re reading this there will be several incidents of sex happening nearby. Does that make you feel dirty? Well, let us cleanse you. In an audio sense.

Back in the early…

“Excuse me?”

“Yes?”

“Do you have the time?”

“I do. I have it written on my hand. It’s 7.30am.”

“Thanks, no, wait. How do you know that’s right?”

“I checked it with the speaking clock.”

“Ah, excellent…

Pfffff. Pfffff. Pffffff. There we go. I’ve tied 37 balloons to this chair, that should be enough to get me to the moon.

Here I go – and release! Oh. Why aren’t I going up? This is awkward. Now I look…

Dive! Dive! Dive!

Whoah! Exciting huh? Your heart is pounding, adrenalin courses through your veins, and your left eye twitches uncontrollably.

Well calm down buddy, you can’t listen to audio drama w…

Well, I wish it could be Christmas every day.

It would certainly help the retail industry.

Talking of which, this one’s set in a shop. No ordinary shop though, one of those special Christmas shops th…

Libraries are a great place for a snooze. You can stash yourself away in a quiet section (say, computer programming languages, pre-1990) and get yourself a good 20 minutes kip without being disturbed…

“We are pleased to present a guest episode of Action Science Theatre created especially for LabLit.com!”
LabLit.com

If you could travel back in time and bring anyone back to the modern day, who would…

Na na na na na, na na na… WAIT! They have trigger-happy lawyers. Stop that.

So this episode is about a spy. A spy who likes girls and drinking. But isn’t like any other spy character who likes those …

Somewhere, in a field in Wales…

Some Nobel-prize-winning scientists have arrived at a science conference to share their knowledge. But it isn’t a conference. It’s a festival. With dirty people and mu…

In space, no one can hear ice cream. But then no one can hear it on Earth either. Unless it’s being fed to a noisy child.

So, I bet you were all wondering the same thing we were: what if Commander Ha…

Do you know what you are? Do you? Do you really? Do you want me to tell you? Right now? To your face? You… You… YOU…

Are an AST listener!

Well done. Wise choice.

The Internabbly Pobbly of Zoomebumly …

All together now…

“Happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to you,
happy birthday AST,
happy birthday to you!”

Well done, excellent work. A particularly good range of tenors amongst you.

AST is 1 year …

We know 3 facts about the Antarctic:

1. It’s cold
2. They have penguins
3. Penguins tend to poop everywhere

Into this icy, poop-covered wasteland comes Bill Chesham – a man seeking quiet isolation. Inst…