226: End-of-Summer Conversations

Labor Day here in the U.S. on the first Monday in September is near the top of my list of favorite holidays. There’s a freshness and energy about this time of year I find appealing. But before we launch into fall, there are some end-of-summer conversations I’ve recently had that I don’t want to forget because they add to the richness and energy of autumn.

So I’m going to give you only a brief snap shot of some of them because they deserve more reflection than I have time to consider now. I bet you’ve had some similar end-of-summer conversations you’d like to think more about later this fall. I’m going to give you mine, but I’d like to hear about yours.

But first, I’m John Certalic, and you are listening to episode 226 of You Were Made for This, the podcast about finding joy in being the person God created each of us to be. Namely, someone who reflects the character, image, and likeness of God in all our relationships. It’s the THIS we were made for.

Now here’s my list of end-of-summer conversation I want to think more about later. I think each one of them could be a podcast episode in the future. We’ll see.

First off, we had a missionary couple stay with us recently. I’ll call them Harry and Meghan, which may surprise you aren’t their real names.  During their with us Meghan said she found my blog post from a few weeks ago helpful, “Grief Doesn’t Follow the Rules.”

She forwarded it to a relative who experienced the death of a child, and then to a co-worker whose adult son took his own life. Meghan went on to say that the relative was disappointed in people who did not understand her grief.

A counselor told Meghan, “It’s not your job to understand her grief. A counselor’s job is to help her understand her own grief.” 

And then this related thought that the counselor told Meghan, “Grief is inevitable. Misery is optional.”

I’m going to be thinking more about these comments. And also, what should we expect from our friends when we ar grieving?

Before she and Harry left us, there’s one more end-of-summer conversation I had with Meghan that I’ll be thinking about for sometime this fall. A friend of hers is in a church that had a weekend conference where the speaker talked extensively about demon possession, and how if believers and followers of Jesus are not careful, demons can possess them.

This bothered Meghan’s friend so she did quite a bit of research into whether or not demons can actually dwell inside a Jesus follower. She concluded they can’t because the spirit of God living within a believer cannot co-exist with a demon.

It raises the question does the pastor agree with her or with the conference speaker. If he agrees with the conference speaker that Christians can be demon possessed, she doesn’t think she could stay at the church because of this seismic theological difference.

Meghan went on to say, “My friend has been going to this church for decades. All her friends are at this church This church is her life. It would be heartbreaking to have to leave.”

Yikes, the anguish this must cause Meghan’s friend.

I heard someone say in an another end-of-summer conversation, “Behavior never lies.”

This is  a really helpful principle in dealing with interpersonal relationships. What a person does reveals more than what they say. This especially true with teenage children.

My end-of-summer conversation with Harry

Then there’s the conversation I had with Harry, Meghan’s husband. We told him we have started asking people with tattoos, “tell me the story of your tattoo. What does it mean to you.” We’ve noticed lately that wait staff in restaurants often have tattoos.

Harry is a leader within his mission organization and he mentioned that in a staff meeting he said that everyone has a story. I’m sure you’ve heard this before. But then he added, “We honor someone when we ask them to tell their story.”    The word “honor” just jumped out me. I’m going to be thinking more about this.

We then started talking about people who don’t want to share their story. Who don’t want you to know about them. Why is that?  If we honor people when we ask them to tell us their story, why do some people run the other way?

One possibility, and this is just a guess, is that some people feel shame over their past, even if what happened to them was out of their control. So they play it close to the vest with people, and rarely disclose much about themself. 

This reminded me of my friend Dan who grew up in a very abusive home as a a child. Some people who had similar childhoods will carry this around with them the rest of their life and define themselves in terms of the terrible things that happened to them.

But for Dan, he says, “All the bad stuff that happened to me in childhood is certainly part of my story. But it is not an active part. I prefer to focus on the active part of my story.”

Enough about me. I wonder what end-of-summer conversations you’ve had that will carry you into the fall thinking about them. Were there any thought provoking questions or insightful observations about life?  I hope so

I’d love to hear from you about them.

As we close up shop for today, I hope your thinking was stimulated by today’s show, to reflect upon meaningful conversations you had with people as summer gives way to fall.

Well, that’s it for today. I’d love to hear your thoughts or reactions to today’s episode. Just go to the show notes for today’s program at JohnCertalic.com, then scroll down to the end to the “Leave a comment” box.

Finally, remember to spread a little relational sunshine around the people you meet this week. Spark some joy for them.  And I’ll see you again next time. Goodbye for now.

225: A Joy to Be Around

139: Why Should I Listen to This Podcast?

021: The Most Important Relationship of All

All past and future episodes can be found at JohnCertalic.com