Wrath of Pod

God does his best Steve Jobs impression with a keynote presentation about building the world’s gaudiest tablet case. After coercing the Israelites into contributing to his Kickstarter, God specifies …

Emboldened by his bestselling ‘top ten laws’, God tries his hand at creating some lesser ones. Peering down from his cloud at the top of Mount Sinai, God watches while the newly freed Israelites let …

Moses is suffering under the heavy demands of his job: sitting in judgment over every petty disagreement the Hebrews can come up with, and dealing with an ace prosecutor to boot. His father-in-law Je…

God loads up Google Maps and directs the Israelites towards Canaan via the Red Sea, which he divides in two with the mother of all sneezes. Pharaoh pops back up for one final scare before disappearin…

The plagues continue with swarms of monstrous bugs, things that go bump in the night, and straight up murder. Moses stars in ten seconds of an awesome action movie before it’s back to the now-familia…

After God fails to boost workplace morale, he attempts to use Moses to free the Hebrews from slavery while giving Pharaoh a case of heart disease. Seven disgusting plagues and one classic arcade game…

We open Season 2 with a Pharaoh who takes a Thanos-like approach to solving overpopulation by killing all of the male Hebrew babies. One lucky tot rides the rapids in a mini-ark instead and is adopte…

Marcus and Deanna review Season 1: Genesis. Is a shadowy figure secretly pulling God’s strings from behind the scenes? What’s the best use for the ark now that shooting is done? What counts as a bles…

Season finale! Jacob comes down with an acute case of “I’m gonna die soon” and gathers his sons for one last chance to complain about that time Reuben had sex with Jacob’s concubine. Jacob also attem…

Joseph pulls the plug on his revenge plans after his brothers turn their groveling up to 11. Joseph removes his glasses in a Clark-Kent-to-Superman-style striptease, but his brothers don’t believe it…

When Pharaoh’s sleep is disrupted by terrifying dreams of vampire cows, he springs world-renowned Dream Reader Joseph from jail. Joseph concludes that seven years of famine can be prevented by openin…

Joseph is out and proud with a fancy coat from his adoring father. Between that and his obsession with reading his dream journal out loud, the rest of his brothers have had enough and sell him into s…

Jacob freaks out about seeing Esau again and immediately ranks his household by their human-shield potential. God overdoes his attempts to lift Jacob’s spirits by staging an all-night wrestling match…

On his way to Haran, Jacob uses a random stone as a pillow and has trippy dreams with distinct Led Zeppelin vibes. Speaking of stones, Jacob lifts a huge one with just his erection and then signs a s…

Rebecca gets pregnant with some “special help” from God. It’s twins! The first, Esau, has an unfortunate resemblance to Elmo crossed with Hellboy. His awful luck continues when he trades his birthrig…

After Sarah dies, Abraham pushes his HR policies to breaking point to recruit his oldest servant into getting a wife for Isaac. After surpassing the lowest bar imaginable, and impressed by some new b…

Sarah laughs at God and Abraham talks back. But God’s taking it easy this week by destroying only two cities instead of the whole world. We see first-hand why Sodom and Gomorrah were in God’s crossha…

Abram pretends that his wife is his sister so she can sleep with the Pharaoh. God isn’t impressed by this trick, so it’s time for a plague. God avoids math by getting Abram to count the stars to figu…

In a shocking twist, God hits ctrl-z on the whole world by using a lot of water. Noah receives oddly detailed instructions on building an ark and quickly learns the stinky consequences of living on a…

It’s the pilot episode! God wiggles his arms a lot and magics up the world. Later we meet a guy who would totally rat you out in middle school, a woman who used to be a rib, and a smooth-talking snak…