From Directions to Gratitude: Why Men Struggle to Ask for Support

In this episode of With Love, Men, co-hosts Jake Fishbein and Nick Papadopoulos tackle one of the most fundamental yet avoided aspects of masculinity: why men struggle to ask for help and express genuine gratitude.

From the age-old joke about men refusing to ask for directions to today's digital age equivalent of wandering grocery store aisles rather than asking staff for help, this pattern runs deep in the male psyche. Jake candidly shares his recent experience avoiding lawyers while trying to create contractor agreements, preferring to spend 25 hours wrestling with AI rather than risk looking "stupid" or "incompetent" to a professional.

Nick opens up about a challenging conversation with his partner Anissa that transformed when he made a simple phone call to say "thank you"—and how that moment of gratitude created a profound shift in both his heart and their relationship. His vulnerability reveals how expressing appreciation became a completely different way of protecting and providing for someone he loves.

The conversation explores why men have been conditioned to believe that doing things alone makes them smart and capable, while asking for support somehow diminishes their worth. They examine how this isolation creates a vicious cycle: when men don't include others, they're actually training people not to support them, reinforcing the very loneliness they're trying to avoid.

From mental health struggles to relationship challenges, Jake and Nick reveal how the fear of appearing weak keeps men trapped in their heads instead of connecting through their hearts. They discuss the profound difference between "presence" and "performance"—how women and partners crave authentic connection over endless doing and providing.

The hosts share powerful insights about how asking for help and saying thank you aren't signs of weakness, but pathways to genuine strength, deeper relationships, and psychological safety that goes far beyond physical protection.

🔑 Topics Covered

• The evolution from "won't ask for directions" to modern avoidance patterns in daily life
• Jake's contractor agreement story: How fear of looking incompetent keeps men isolated
• The training cycle: How not asking for help teaches others we don't need support
• Nick's gratitude breakthrough: How one "thank you" transformed a relationship dynamic
• The performance trap: Why men think providing means constantly doing rather than being present
• Heart vs. head connection: Moving from ego-driven independence to vulnerable authenticity
• Presence over performance: What partners actually crave from the men in their lives
• The health benefits: How asking for help reduces pressure and increases resilience

💡 Reflective Prompt What are you currently trying to handle alone that would benefit from support? When was the last time you called someone just to say "thank you" for being in your life, and what might change if you did that today?

📍 Links + Resources

• Jake's website: www.jakefishbein.com
• Nick's website: www.coachnick.com
• The Arena Men's Group: www.arenamensgroup.com

💼 Connect with Us on LinkedIn:

• Jake Fishbein
• Nick Papadopoulos

With Love, Jake & Nick