13. The Disgusting Feelings

Wild Permission is your reminder that you already have everything it takes to live the life you want. Your dreams matter. You matter.

Hosted by artist and permission-giver Alexis Wild, this podcast is your space for quick bursts of courage, truth, and joy. Alexis helps you remember who you are—worthy, powerful, and enough—while inviting you to step into your wildest, truest self.

This is your permission slip to follow your desires, trust your heart, and create a beautiful life on your own terms.

www.alexiswild.com

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Hello, good morning, good afternoon! I am coming today and hitting record feeling curious about what I'm going to talk to you about. I don't have any plan and I'm hitting record feeling some resistance and some discomfort confirmed in speaking because here's the thing I don't have it all together and I'm always trying to be better and to learn but I am human. And I guess the topic today is being human and being flawed and sitting in the discomfort of making really big mistakes and sitting in the discomfort of all the heavy gross stomach turning feelings.

I've talked a lot about feelings on here, and about really feeling them to completion and when there's these type of heavier body feelings, it's through our body, that we move them and if we don't allow that for ourselves, then it very quickly it can become something that can physically make us ill.

And the reason for that is because our body is giving us such big signals in the churning of the stomach in the heaviness of the chest. Big signals that there's something here that we really need to pay attention to and if we don't pay attention to that first signal.

Well, of course, the body has to get louder. And this is where sometimes we get sick where we where we may not have physically had an injury, where we have pains that are kind of unknown of of origin where we have soreness that we're not really sure where it came from. And I really believe that those type of aches and pains and discomfort are often signals that we have not been listening to something in us that needs to be looked at.

And for me that discomfort is

today a feeling of fear.

And as I check in a feeling of shame, and a feeling of guilt

and to me, I can feel those in my chest and in my stomach, and it feels like not being able to take a deep deep breath.

And I want to share with you how those feelings feel because I want you to be able to think about listening to your body when you're in this place too. And we can be doing all the work we can be choosing joy, we can be looking for love we can be embodying love, and we can still come up to shame and fear and guilt.

Because we're human, and we're always going to be making mistakes.

Even the most enlightened people are making mistakes and the more that we lean into this discomfort, the less likely it is that we're going to make the same mistake again.

But when we don't look at it, and we don't pay attention. Well, of course it's just going to keep happening.

So when we're feeling the shame and the discomfort of making a mistake of doing something wrong, whether it was deliberate or not. And I mean sometimes, let's be honest, we are deliberately bad. We deliberately do things to hurt people we deliberately lie we we make mistakes and I have and shame can be good and it can be very destructive.

And when I talk about shame, the shame that I'm talking about is the internal looking at what we've done wrong and feeling discomfort that we did that. What I'm not talking about is the shame that has been put on us by society or by our families when we were growing up. And that kind of shame is the shame of being wrong in who we are. And that's not what I'm talking about here. I'm talking about the shame and guilt of the realization that we are wrong. And sometimes that shame and guilt can be really sneaky and it can come when we have been wronged and we feel embarrassed about being in this type of situation.

So these feelings can show us both where we need to change personally, and also where we need to change in relationship. And so shame and guilt from an external source.

Again, not what we're talking about here, right? We're talking about that internal feeling of, ooh, something's wrong here. I don't know what this is and something needs to change.

And when we really sit with this feeling our body and our intuition will always steer us right.

And sometimes we don't have an answer right away. Sometimes the answer comes at the most surprising of times, on a walk playing with our kids in the shower.

But I want to encourage you that when these feelings are happening for you when you're deep in this type of really uncomfortable, let's call them disgusting. Feelings and not wrong, right? We're human. All the feelings are okay, but these ones feel really disgusting. For me. They're some of the worst types of feelings to have.

And so if we can allow ourselves the moments to feel disgusting, and to remind ourselves that this isn't going to destroy us. These feelings are here to guide us. These feelings are here to show us that something is so out of alignment.

And they're here as a compass.

It really truly truly they're here as a compass.

And it comes back also to everything is happening for us. So these feelings, these situations are happening for us sometimes for us to see, hey, we need to get out of here. Hey, we need to change something in this relationship in this career in this life.

And often, what they're trying to show us is that we need to change something in ourselves. We need to take some more responsibility. We need to really move through life with more integrity.

And you are the only one who can know for yourself when you are in these deep, dark times.

Where you are being guided here. We're the only one.

But there's one thing that I know for certain and it's that our true intuition our gut instincts will never ever steer us wrong.

They certainly will steer us to challenging situations at times because everything in our brain will say that this is the wrong path.

The we will know it is true.

And I can't give you a simple answer for how you will know it's true. But you know it in your bones.

You'll know that when you choose yourself and peace and growth and change.

You will know the path and sometimes the path is so different than what we've been told we should do.

And when that's the case, that's really scary.

And we can use that fear as a guide. We can we can use that fear, to have a conversation to ask it. Hey, can you show me what's the worst here that could happen? Let's play with that. Let's investigate how deep we can go with this fear.

Again another feeling right.

And we can walk through life with fear beside us instead of in front of us. Instead of guiding the way we can invite it to join us on this journey, especially when we're taking a path that might not feel allowed may not feel acceptable to the world.

But you know whose path it is.

It's yours. It's your path.

And taking that path even when scary and inviting fear to come and not making it bad.

Taking that path will over and over again help you increase your confidence help you increase your feelings of self awareness of self sovereignty. Taking the path that you know your to take will always always always, in the end, be your right paths.

And so I encourage you today if you're feeling in a similar place as I am of really pick just comfort and really big unknowns too.

Take the time to be quiet with yourself and see what comes up.

See where you feel guided best. And sometimes a question we can ask to help us with this is what path feels light? What path feels like it would bring me more peace if it were to all work out.

What path do I feel I should take and what does my resistance to that should say about the path that I want to be on?

Listen these things are not are not easy.

And I know without a shadow of a doubt that we're always going to be okay.

And by okay I don't certainly mean jumping from the rooftops for joy.

I mean that you will be here.

I won't be here and we'll still be navigating our way through life. No matter what happens.

I must be learning most to be growing and I know that about you for sure I know that about you that you care about growing and you care about learning and you care about listening to yourself.

And today is the day to do that.

I really adore you and I'm so so grateful always for you to pop in. And today I really thank you to consider what the really uncomfortable really gut wrenching feelings are telling you and I'm gonna go sit with mine as well. Have the most blessed day you're so so loved.

About Alexis:

Some artists paint what they see. Alexis Christine Wild paints what she feels—and what she hopes you will feel too. Since 2014, her richly textured canvases have woven together bold colour, flowing movement, and hidden words of affirmation, poetry, and intention. Each piece is layered with meaning, as if the artwork itself is whispering, You have permission to be exactly who you are.

From her light-filled home studio in London, Ontario, Alexis creates work that now lives in homes and collections around the world. She is also the host of the Wild Permission podcast and curator of The Space, a vibrant small business incubator where creativity and community meet.

Working mainly with acrylics and plaster on canvas, Alexis invites viewers to come closer—because the deeper you look, the more you find. Her art is both a visual experience and an emotional one, sparking connection to self and others alike.

And Alexis’s creativity doesn’t stop at the canvas. By pairing her art practice with her passion for guiding others, she helps people make bold, aligned moves in their own lives—transforming her work into a living dialogue between courage, self-expression, and meaningful change.