Kitchen Chats with Aimee Kandrac Episode 5: Helping Kids In Times Of Crisis

Listener advisory: There is a brief discussion of the death of a child in this episode.

Handling a life-changing event is hard enough, but extra care is needed when children are involved. To provide guidance on helping kids in times of crisis, Aimee chats with Dr. Samantha Franklin, an expert in school counseling, mental health, and education. Samantha shares considerations for helping kids with various life-changing events. She also opens up about some of the crises she’s faced within her own family.

Episode Highlights

Kids just want to feel normal.

Children just want to feel normal, and that need is perhaps even stronger when they have a medical condition or experience a life-changing event at home. Whether it’s a cancer diagnosis, death in the family, or divorce, friends and family can step in and help bring a sense of normalcy to an abnormal situation. For instance, if a kid with severe food allergies will be attending a birthday party, consider asking the host what the other kids will be eating and bring something from home that is similar.

“So it’s not completely different, right?” Samantha said. “Because all they want is to be normal.”

Considerations for a child with an illness.

When a child has a life-threatening or complex medical condition, it may be more stressful for the parent to have somebody else watch their kid. In this instance, it may be more welcome to help watch the child at the parent’s house or to help the family with another task.

Here are some of the ideas suggested by Aimee and Stephanie:

• Drive other family members to practices or appointments
• Clean the house or do laundry
• Read bedtime stories
• Help with homework
• Do hands-on arts and crafts
• Watch a favorite movie

Considerations for children with a death in the family.

In an instance when someone in a child’s immediate family member has died, it can be helpful to think about what might be difficult for those first few days at school and take some action to help prevent triggers. For instance, a child may particularly struggle at the pick-up or drop-off line when they see other parents picking up their kids.

In a case where a classmate has died or must make a sudden move, teachers can consider having children write goodbye notes or decorate a box for the child or family to clean out the desk or locker. Another idea is to ask other students to think about things that may be hurtful to someone who has experienced a loss. This can be especially resonant because children notice more things than parents may realize and also tend to be very supportive of their friends.

“Kids will slow down, and they will take care of one another better than we could ever imagine,” Samantha said.

Get kids involved with caring for others.

Sometimes, it’s not the child in the midst of a life-changing event, but a close friend or neighbor that a child wants to help. In this case, it can be helpful to give the kids an age-appropriate but meaningful task to bring some joy, such as:

• Drawing pictures
• Telling jokes
• Taking out the trash
• Leaving a video message

Don’t forget, though, that children are prone to illnesses, so it’s best not to bring the kids to visit a sick person unless it is a very close relative.

“Leave them home,” Samantha advised. “Maybe send a video message from them if you want to do that, but leave them home from the hospital unless it’s a very close family member.”

Resources + Links

• Dr. Samantha Franklin
• Aimee Kandrac: Website, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn
• WhatFriendsDo: Website, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn

About Aimee and WhatFriendsDo 

Aimee Kandrac is a speaker, consultant, and the co-founder and CEO of WhatFriendsDo. Her work is instrumental for organizing support during life-changing events, and she speaks to organizations about creative ways to help friends and family during times of crisis. Aimee has been recognized as a Top 50 Mompreneur by Babble.com and is the first female CEO in the state of Indiana to close a $500,000 funding round. She has been featured in Forbes, Time, the LA Times, Oprah.com, the Indianapolis Star, and more.

WhatFriendsDo is a simpler way to create organized and actionable support during a time of crisis. The free, online platform empowers healthcare facilities, HR departments, families, and friends to easily coordinate meals, errands, transportation, childcare, communication, and more for those in the midst of a life-changing event. The women-founded and women-led company started as a solution for a friend with terminal cancer. WhatFriendsDo is based out of Indianapolis.