Wow, did a lot of you write to me about this one. Someone wrote in to the New York Times column “The Ethicist” to ask if they should “intervene” because their friend, who specifically asked them not to talk to her about her weight, is fat and, in their perception, has health issues (which of course the letter writer blamed on her weight.)
So obviously the answer was “you should stop monitoring your friend’s body size and thinking and writing about her in shame-drenched ways, respect her wishes, and work on your own weight stigma.” Right?
Wrong.