How to Break Free of Toxic Relationship Patterns.

Podcast Info

• A new podcast episode drops every Monday.
• Music credit: L-Ray Music, Courtesy of Shutterstock, Inc.
• Learn more about your host, Cordelia, by clicking here
• Be sure to follow Cordelia on Instagram: @codependentrecovery
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WORKBOOK + COMMUNITY + RESOURCES

• Want access to free resources? Click here
• Need help finding a therapist? Click here
• Check out Cordelia's book recommendations here
  • Disclosure: Cordelia is an affiliate of Bookshop.org and she will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase.
• Are you going through a breakup or divorce?  Here is the link to the 98-page workbook.  Print version + ebook version available worldwide.
• Want to join the community (i.e., community club or book club)? Click here
• Interested in any other affiliate links? Click here
  • Note: affiliate links mean Cordelia earns a commission if you click through and make a purchase.

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HOW TO BREAK OUT OF TOXIC RELATIONSHIP PATTERNS

1. Heal all the parts of you (including the part of you that stayed or wanted to stay).
2. Find a licensed counselor/therapist: Check out Open Path if you are in the US & money is an issue [https://openpathcollective.org/].
3. Explore childhood wounds.
4. Make a list of warning signs/red flags for future relationships.
5. Be gentle with yourself.
6. Read books to help you understand your issues better [i.e., I realized I struggle with codependency issues, so the following books helped me: “Codependent No More” by Melody Beattie” & “Facing Codependence” by Pia Mellody”]
7. Buy a workbook for self-esteem [i.e., I bought “the Self Esteem Workbook” by Glenn R. Schiraldi”]
8. Accept help from your support system and friends.
9. Focus on living in the present.
10. Practice positive self-talk.
11. Write out a list of dealbreakers that you will stick to in the future.
12. Assess what your boundaries are [see below for examples].
13. Go no contact with your ex.
14. Fully acknowledge you have a pattern of being in toxic relationships.
15. Explore what relationships were modeled to you as a child.
16. Think about a friend or family member’s relationship that you respect.  Take notes [i.e., try to find a new “model” for a healthy relationship].
17. Give yourself time to heal.  Do not date until you are healed.
18. Form new friendships + build a social network.
19. Reconnect with any family + friends that you drifted from during your toxic relationship
20. Develop hobbies + interests.
21. Learn how to trust your gut/intuition in relationships.
22. Consider seeing a psychiatrist for underlying issues (i.e., depression).
23. Go outside more + go for walks.
24. Don’t be afraid to tell your story.
25. Cut out people from your life that don’t make you feel good about yourself.
26. Get some sunlight + go outside.
27. Aim for 7 to 9 hours of sleep per night.
28. Take care of basic hygiene (brush your teeth, take a shower, etc.).
29. Get rid of any reminders of your ex.
30. Accept reality + abandon the fantasy.

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CORDELIA’S BOUNDARIES:

1. I will not sleep with someone who calls me names.
2. I will not reach out to someone who abandoned me.
3. I will not take back someone who cheated.
4. I will not have conversations with anyone if I feel desperate.