The Language of Agency

You're listening to the upper case life, where we are always in pursuit of the most useful truth. And I'm your host, Joseph Brewster. 

Buckle up, because today we're going to talk about something big, something I think is potentially life changing if you can grasp it and practice it. In the 2015 Journal of Experimental Psychology, there was a paper published called Knowledge Doesn't Protect Against Illusory Truth, and they use this term illusory truth throughout the paper.
And in the summary, they say this In daily life, we encounter false claims in the form of consumer advertisements political propaganda and rumors. Repetition may be one way that insidious misconceptions enter our knowledge base. The research on this illusory truth effect demonstrates that repeated statements are easier to process and subsequently are perceived to be more truthful than new statements.
The prevailing assumption in the literature had been that knowledge would constrain this effect, but what they found in their research was that contrary to prior suppositions, this occurred even when participants knew better. So in other words, if you hear it often enough, you start to believe it, even if you know better even if you have already encountered the correct information, the frequency at which you hear a thing will indoctrinate you and this is something we've known for a very long time.
In fact, this is a technique that's been used in brainwashing, indoctrination, and torture during times of war. We know that if something is repeated over and over again to you, eventually it will start to feel like truth. I don't want to talk about political agendas. I don't want to talk about consumerism. I want to talk about your language.
I want to talk about the words that come out of your mouth every day. I believe that your words really matter. I believe that the frequency of your statements matter. And I believe that we often employ a language of helplessness when we speak about our life and our experiences. I want you to think of the following statements and ask yourself, what do they all have in common?
I don't have enough time for that. I can't afford to buy that. I couldn't run as fast as that guy does. I can't hang out with my friends tonight. I have to work. I'll never make my boss happy. This this is the language of helplessness. What do you see in common in those statements? In common in those statements is this idea of what you are not able to do, your incapability, your helplessness.
It's the language of someone who would prefer things possibly to be otherwise. But does it have the power to change them? And when we use this language day after day, we are brainwashing ourselves and we're brain washing those around us to believe that there is no choice, that there are no options. And this is just how things are going to be.
This language of helplessness is, I think, probably the most prominent thing I hear when I talk to people about their struggles in life, whether they're talking about trying to start a business or chase a dream, build a healthy relationship, raise a child. I hear this kind of language all the time. I hear more often than not the statement.
I don't have the time when people are talking about their schedules, when they're talking about what they would like to do with their life. And this language of helplessness is almost always, almost without exception, a lie, an exaggeration. And not only that is a transfer all of responsibility off of ourselves. And it's an acceptance of slavery within our own mind.
Here is where I'm at. I cannot change it. I cannot escape it. So what can we do about this? What can we do about indoctrinating our self with this illusory truth, with this repetition in this propaganda that we are actually telling ourselves? I think this is one of the biggest things that you can do just in general in your mindset, is to change your language and adopt a language of agency.
Adopt a language of agency, because the truth is we cannot control everything, but we do have a lot of agency and agency, as Merriam-Webster defines it, is the capacity condition or the state of acting or of exerting power. You see, we are making choices on a daily basis. We are using our agency every single day, but taking responsibility for those choices, especially when things just don't feel like they're going the way that we prefer.
That's really challenging and honestly, it's a bit humbling. It is much easier to use a language of helplessness. So when we use a language of helplessness, I'm the prisoner, I am the victim. You should feel sorry for me, but when I use the language of agency, I am a potential source of change. I am a participant and I have power.
So let's look at those statements I made earlier and let's say them again in a language of agency. I don't have enough time for that. I would say I'm choosing to do something else with that. Time, because honestly, you can do a lot of things with your time. You have the same amount of time as anyone on the planet.
What are you doing with it? So saying I don't have enough time for that is just telling yourself you're helpless. So I am choosing to do something else with that time. I do have the time to do that. I'm just not going to or I can't afford to buy that. You know what I think I'm not interested in going into debt for that thing.
It's just not that important to me. I'm going to use my money in other ways. Maybe you're looking at someone else's skill and you're saying, I couldn't do that. I couldn't run as fast as that person does. You know what the truth is? You haven't trained hard enough to run that fast. That's what the truth is. As someone who grew up as an artist, I can't tell you the amount of times somebody has said to me, I could never do that when I was drawing or painting or something to that effect.
And not only is that not true, it's really insulting to the other people who are doing the thing. It's almost as if implying it wasn't your effort that allowed you to do this. You were just somehow magically born with a skill to do something I will never have the ability to do. And I've always thought, Sure, you could everybody could.
All you got to do is what I did. So please don't diminish the effort other people have put into things by saying I could never do that. Yes, you could. You are not dedicating yourself to do that, and it's OK to acknowledge that. And it's also important for you to note that there is potential for you to improve that skill and do what they're doing.
Acknowledge that it's not like you are inferior to everyone else. Now, here's where I want to pause and I do want to acknowledge the fact that we do have limitations, right? Having a language of agency isn't about fooling ourselves. Maybe you are a quadriplegic listening to this. Maybe you are somebody with health conditions that legitimately prevent you from doing a thing and you say to yourself, I should not be doing that.
Thing. Given my circumstances, I completely understand that there are going to be times where saying that is not something I can physically do. Is going to be a true statement. Those situations will be rare for most people, but if you have those limitations, understand them don't focus on them, focus on the things you have the agency in and the choices you can make.
Here's one I can't hang out with friends tonight. I have to work. Here's where we get mixed up. You think, Well, I have a job, I have a boss, I have a responsibility. This is true. But you can quit any time when you tell yourself, I can't quit because I've got to pay the bills. That is a lie.
You're choosing not to quit because you really want to pay the bills, but at any time you can absolutely walk away from everything. And I'm not saying that you should. I'm not saying that it is the right move to make. What I'm saying is that it is freeing in your mind to acknowl...