Episode 7: Sh*t VCs Say.

Ever raise venture capital? Then you’ve definitely heard some version of:

“It’s a bit too early for us.”
“What if Google builds this?”
“Ping me when you have a lead.”

In Episode 7 of UnicornPrn, Melissa and Lloyed crack open the cliché-filled, gaslight-ridden world of fundraising conversations. They expose the truth behind fake praise, soft NOs, and the cult of “value-add” investors.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

✅ How to decode the top 10 most common VC phrases 
✅ Why “Let us know how we can help” is investor ghosting in disguise
✅ When “you’re not thinking big enough” actually means we don’t get it
✅ How to navigate value-add promises that vanish post-wire

Hot Takes:

✅ “Founders get confused when someone’s interested, but they’re not actually making a move. Interest ≠ intent.”
✅ “Most VCs only give you confidence after someone else has given you conviction.”

So grab your Series A dreams and your Series Z patience, because this episode is your official VC-to-English dictionary.

Tune in. Wake up. Think hard. Build smart.

Contact UnicornPrn

• Find show notes of each episode on UnicornPrn.com - hit subscribe like it owes you money

About our hosts

• Melissa Kwan is Cofounder and CEO of eWebinar, and a 3X bootstrapper who has spent the last 14 years building companies without ever raising a cent of venture capital.
• Lloyed Lobo is a WSJ bestselling author, Cofounder of Boast.AI and Traction founder community, startup advisor, angel investor, board member, and LP in multiple VC funds — he’s seen startup chaos from both sides of the term sheet.
• LinkedIn: Melissa Kwan and Lloyed Lobo
• Instagram: @themelissakwan and @lloyedlobo⁠⁠
• YouTube: @themlissakwan and @StartupTraction
• Subscribe to 'your founder next door' at melissakwan.com, Melissa's bi-monthly newsletter on how to build a company without an abundance of resources and friends in high places.
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