Functional Freeze

Don swears he fell into a “functional freeze” (aka depression’s awkward little brother), while Kelly insists he just looked extra zombie-ish for a few days. Together, they unpack what it means to feel foggy, numb, and disconnected—whether it’s from work stress, parenting teenagers who act like mini emotional terrorists, or just middle-age creeping in. Along the way they debate tank top etiquette, invent terrible DIY doctor prescriptions, and ask life’s most important question: why would you eat food so spicy it injures you?

It’s part self-diagnosis, part comedy, and part marriage therapy—but mostly just proof that if you’re going to freeze, you might as well do it with laughter, cocktails, and bare feet on the grass.

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