Patrick Custer: Shame, Spiritual Abuse, and Reclaiming Identity After Trauma | Ep. 38

He was a pastor’s kid hiding panic attacks—and now he’s a national advocate for mental health.

In Episode 38 of TURTZED, Charlie sits down with Patrick Custer, podcast host of Rooted Recovery Stories, mental health advocate, and Nashville-based storyteller, to talk about the long-term effects of spiritual abuse, hidden shame, and growing up in a world where being “too much” was punished.

From severe illness as a child to confronting internalized homophobia in adulthood, Patrick shares how unhealed trauma manifested as chronic illness, anxiety, and eventually substance use—until the pain became impossible to ignore.

This conversation is a deeply honest exploration of religious trauma, identity, healing through embodiment, and the power of building spaces where people feel seen.

Key Takeaways:

• Spiritual Trauma Runs Deep – Being told that parts of you are “bad” or “sinful” in a faith setting creates shame that lives in the body. Healing it starts with naming it.
• You Can’t Heal What You Don’t Acknowledge – Repressed trauma will manifest in your body, relationships, or decisions. Bringing it to light is the first step toward freedom.
• Chronic Illness and Trauma Are Connected – Patrick shares how long-term stress and shame contributed to his physical symptoms—and what changed when he started processing his story.
• Mental Health Needs More Than Awareness – Real transformation comes from going beyond awareness into tools, connection, and embodied healing.
• Rewriting Your Story Is Possible – You don’t have to stay silent. You don’t have to carry shame forever. Your voice can become your liberation.
• Safe Spaces Change Lives – Whether it’s a podcast, a community, or a single conversation, making someone feel seen might be the thing that saves them.

Connect with Us:

Patrick Custer:

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@thepatrickcuster

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepatrickcuster

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thepatrickcuster

Rooted Recovery Stories:

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@rootedrecoverystories

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rootedrecoverystories

TURTZED: https://beacons.ai/turtzed

Charles Turtz: https://beacons.ai/turtzc

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Disclaimer: The TURTZED Podcast represents the views and opinions of Charles Turtz and his guests. This content is intended for informational, educational, and entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult with a qualified healthcare provider regarding your specific health needs. Read our full disclaimer.

00:00 Meet Patrick Custer and the Origin of ReWritten

02:35 Growing Up in the Church with Internalized Shame

04:58 Being Told You’re “Too Much” and the Pain That Causes

07:04 Childhood Illness and the Disconnect from the Body

09:42 The Layers of Spiritual Abuse and Suppressed Identity

12:31 Religion as a Weapon Instead of a Tool

14:57 How Trauma Shows Up in the Body

17:28 When Shame Makes You Sick

20:11 Processing Grief After the Loss of His Father

23:09 Recovery and the Beginning of the Healing Process

25:48 Why People Don’t Talk About Shame

27:50 Creating Safe Spaces for Men to Be Vulnerable

30:23 Navigating Rejection and Belonging

33:16 The Cost of Being the “Good Christian Kid”

36:09 Boundaries, Anger, and Reparenting the Self

39:48 Rewriting the Narrative of Who You Are

42:50 Final Reflections on Healing and Identity