Coded Language
- Author
- Toya Washington
- Published
- Wed 03 Sep 2025
- Episode Link
- None
Ever notice how Black women are expected to win quietly? In this powerful return episode, I dive into the recent tennis court confrontation between Taylor Townsend and Jelena Ostapenko that perfectly captures what many of us experience daily – being told we're "low class" or "uneducated" when we succeed, then being praised for our composure when we don't react to blatant disrespect.
The tennis incident serves as a mirror to workplace dynamics where Black women face impossible standards. We're expected to take on additional responsibilities without complaint or compensation, to dim our light when it shines too brightly, and to apologise for achievements that would be celebrated in others. I share personal experiences of being shamed for displaying success or enjoying luxury items – what I now recognise as the systematic policing of Black joy, a pattern so pervasive it deserves to be studied as a psychological phenomenon.
I'm thrilled to announce my new venture, Sister Scribble – a stationery brand celebrating Black creativity through vibrant, 90s hip-hop inspired designs. After finding conventional stationery boring and disconnected from my experience, I've created a line that honors our voices and cultural heritage while providing tools for creative expression. The Origin Edit launches in October 2025, coinciding with UK Black History Month.
The episode also tackles current events including immigration policies, the weaponisation of national symbols, and how Christianity is sometimes used to create hierarchies among women based on marital status. I close with strategic advice for a listener facing the all-too-common dilemma of being asked to take on senior responsibilities without appropriate recognition or compensation.
Ready to stop apologising for your success? Listen now, and remember: you are not here to be manageable. Your wins are only threatening to fragile egos – to the rest of us, they're testimony.
Referenced in podcast:
On Becoming by Toke Makinwa
Sponsorships - Email me: [email protected]
Cc: [email protected]
TikTok: toya_washington
Twitter: @toya_w (#ToyaTalksPodcast)
Snapchat: @toyawashington
Instagram: @toya_washington & @toya_talks
www.toyatalks.com
https://toyatalks.com/
Music (Intro and Outro) Written and created by Nomadic Star
- Stationary Company - Sistah Scribble
- Instagram @sistahscribble
- Website: www.sistahscribble.com
