How to Help Children Build Healthy Self-Esteem

In a world full of comparison — from the classroom to social media — it’s not always easy for kids to feel confident, capable, and valued just as they are. In this episode of the Thriving Kids Podcast, Dr. Dave Anderson is joined by Dr. Jenny Louie, a clinical psychologist in our Anxiety Disorders Center, to explore how parents can help children develop true self-esteem that lasts.

You’ll hear about creating a safe, supportive home environment, encouraging healthy challenges, and finding the right balance between nurturing and pushing kids to grow. Dr. Louie shares practical, real-world examples (yes, even from her own parenting life) that show how small shifts in what we say and do can make a big difference in how kids see themselves.

In this episode:

• Why unconditional love is the foundation of self-esteem
• The role of challenge and the “zone of proximal development”
• Encouraging kids to try new things — even when they’re nervous
• Why effort matters more than achievement
• Helping kids recover from mistakes and “beautiful oopses”
• The pros and cons of participation trophies
• Avoiding overscheduling and making space for intrinsic motivation
• Supporting self-esteem in the teen years

Tips for Parents & Caregivers (from Child Mind Institute):

• Show your love daily — not just with words, but with your presence.
• Share family values as guiding principles, not just rules.
• Expose kids to a variety of activities so they can discover their passions.
• Encourage meaningful, attainable goals — not too easy, not too hard.
• Focus on effort and the learning journey, not just results.
• Celebrate perseverance and model confidence.
• Help kids see mistakes as opportunities to grow .

Resources & Links:

• 7 Tips for Raising Confident Kids
• Positive Parenting, Thriving Kids
• More episodes of the Thriving Kids Podcast