In this week's episode of Spinsterhood Reimagined, I talk to Californian-born Syrian poet, writer and author, Dania Ayah Alkhouli.
In this episode, Dania and I talk about the fact that she is very vocal about not wanting children; her Muslim upbringing and how so many people misunderstand the Quran in terms of what it actually says about having children; her darling Dad, who passed away a few years ago, and how he was very supportive of her decision to not have children; and how she’s been attacked by other Muslims for her views on not becoming a mother.
We also talk about her ex-husband who told his mother that Dania didn’t want children, rather than telling her the truth that it was a decision they had both agreed upon; how people who are secure in their own lives don’t feel compelled to attack the loves of others; women who marry and start a family because it’s the ‘expected’ path, rather than because they’ve actually thought about and subsequently chosen it; and a Syrian friend of Dania’s who expressed that she wouldn’t have had children had it not been ‘mandated’.
Our conversation also encompasses Dania’s thoughts on whether, in some cases, post-partum depression might actually be more about the realisation of what it truly means to have children; how it’s important to create a safe space for women to talk about their decision around whether or not they actually want to have a baby; and how there needs to be better awareness and education around what it truly means to become a parent.
Finally, we talk about Dania’s experience of online dating as a woman who doesn’t want children; and the three poetry books she has written and published, as well as the fourth which is yet to be published.
Follow Dania on Instagram: @lady_narrator
Follow Dania & her Mum's non-profit, A Country Called Syria: @acountrycalledsyria
Join A Country Called Syria's Facebook Group:
https://www.facebook.com/ACountryCalledSyria/
UK Link to Dania's book, Contortionist Tongue:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Contortionist-Tongue-Dania-Ayah-Alkhouli/dp/1733949364
US link to Dania's book, Contortionist Tongue:
https://www.amazon.com/Books-Dania-Ayah-Alkhouli/s?rh=n%3A283155%2Cp_27%3ADania+Ayah+Alkhouli
And thank you so much for listening!