11-02-2024 - On This Day in Insane History

On November 2nd, 2024 in the small town of East Scranbury, New Hampshire, the local farmers were bewildered by a most unusual event. Farmer Johnson, out doing his afternoon check of the cow pastures, noticed something was amiss with Bessie, his prized milking cow. Instead of the usual moo or grazing, ol' Bessie was staring off into the distance as if in a trance. Upon further inspection, Farmer Johnson saw that Bessie had grown an additional set of udders! He rubs his eyes in disbelief but it's no mirage - this cow had evolved to become an eight-uddered bossy. Farmer Johnson's whoops of surprise alert the other farmers who all rush over with lanterns to see this phenomenon for themselves. Neighbor Farmer Wilson is so shocked he drops his pipe clean into a big cow pie. The farmers debate whether this is some kind of freak genetic mutation or a sign that the end is near. They decide to contact the local university agricultural experts and of course, the town is abuzz with this bovine abnormality. One wit even suggests adding another "o" to the town name to reflect their eight-uddered mascot. When the scientists arrive, Bessie is quickly deemed a true biological outlier. To this day, eight-uddered Bessie remains one of East Scranbooro's most notable native daughters.