10-19-2024 - On This Day in Insane History

On October 19th, 2024 in the sleepy town of Beaverlick, Kentucky, a most unusual event occurred. Local resident Uncle Jesse McTeague was out hunting squirrels in the woods behind his property as was his Saturday custom. What he encountered that morning was nothing like the squirrels and birds he was accustomed to disturbing among the trees.

As Uncle Jesse crept silently through the brush, rifle in hand, he heard an odd humming sound growing louder. Pushing aside a thicket of honeysuckle bushes, he found himself face to face with a perfectly round silver craft hovering just above the forest floor. Before he could react, a beam of light shot from the object and scanned from his boot tips to crown of his Bald Eagle feather hat.

Rubbing his eyes in disbelief, Uncle Jesse watched as a door slid open in the side of the craft. Out stepped a figure clad in a skin-tight blue suit and matching helmet that gave no clue of its features. Floating effortlessly to the ground, it reached into a pocket and withdrew a small device, poking and prodding at it as if trying to communicate. Realizing this was beyond any experience a simple man like himself ever had, Uncle Jesse let loose a yell that shook the treetops and hightailed it back to the farm as fast as his old boots could carry him.

Upon arriving breathless at the homestead, Uncle Jesse swore his family to secrecy as he recounted the unbelievable events of the morning. While met with raised eyebrows and plenty of smirks, none could explain away the strange marks and readings now being detected all over the area of the woods by official scientists. It seems even rural Kentucky is not immune to close encounters of the unexpected kind. The truth is out there...or perhaps merely a squirrel got the better of Uncle Jesse. History, and the nearest listening device, will have to be the judge.