10-07-2024 - On This Day in Insane History

On October 7th, 2024 in the small town of Jamestown, North Dakota, an unusual event occurred that puzzled locals for years to come. It was a brisk Wednesday morning when Lena Peterson took her herd of dairy goats out to pasture as usual. But this day, one goat in particular was behaving most peculiar. Old Bessie, the goat who had provided milk without incident for over a decade, hopped the fence of the pasture and set off down main street.

Passing farmers heading to market ignored the goat at first, thinking she'd soon tire and return home. But Bessie had energy and purpose in her stride. She came upon Lou's Diner and gazed in the front window with intensity. The patrons saw her and laughed at the spectacle. Then, to their shock, Bessie crashed through the plate glass window in a single bound! Lou himself wrestled with the goat who had taken to nibbling pancakes from empty plates. How she learned to open the cash register, depositing three dollar bills and two quarters, remains a mystery.

By the time Lena arrived to collect her wayward milkmaid, Bessie had settled in for a post-breakfast nap, surrounded by curious onlookers snapping photos. Only then did they notice a scrap of paper by the register - lottery numbers scratched in goat hoof prints. The numbers would go on to win the million dollar jackpot that week. To this day, no one is sure if Bessie had inside help, or if goats really do possess secret powers of prediction. All that's certain is that little Jamestown was never the same after the Amazing Goat Burglar of 2024 paid her visit.