08-29-2024 - On This Day in Insane History

On August 29, 2024 in a small village just outside of Limerick, Ireland, strange lights were seen floating above the local pub near closing time. Pints in hand, the patrons spilled out of the O'Leary's and gawked at orange orbs dancing in the night sky. "Would ya look at that?" said Sean O'Malley, local farmer and regular. The lights zipped and zoomed, often stopping abruptly or changing direction at high speeds.

As more residents poured out of homes and gathered at the pub, the lights seemed to take notice. They swooped lower over the crowd, causing gasps as their brightness intensified. But no sound was heard from the objects, save for Maureen O'Rourke who was heard to exclaim "Och, would ya look at the bums on that one!"

After several surreal minutes, the lights streaked away at shocking velocities and disappeared over a distant line of hills. Locals were buzzing for weeks over their extraterrestrial encounter, with theories ranging from fairies to meteors to classified military craft. To this day, the incident remains unexplained... and Sean swears he saw little lights peeking out of one orb "like portholes on a submarine." The pub's register that night showed record sales of pints andIrish coffees.