08-25-2024 - On This Day in Insane History

On this day in the year 1648, the town of Hoopersville suffered a most bizarre calamity. The village pig farmer John Cooper awoke before dawn to tend to his swine, as he did every morn. But on this fateful day, something was amiss with the pigs. They seemed agitated, stirred into a frenzy. Cooper attempted to quell the squealing beasts but to no avail.

As the sky lightened, a most peculiar sight greeted the farmer. His pigs, all two hundred of them, were floating upwards into the pinkening sky. Cooper cried out in disbelief, surely this must be some sort of bad pork-induced nightmare. But others now gathered to witness the spectacle,gasping and crossing themselves. The pigs soared higher on the morning breeze, their oinks fading into the distance.

Days of search yielded no sign of the flying pigs. The village counsel debated possible causes, from cursed sausage to witchcraft. John Cooper was questioned but had no answers. To this day, the mystery remains. What possessed those pigs to take wing that morn? Some think their snouts contained secret wings, waiting for the right enchanted east wind. Others blame swamp gas or fallen stars. But the tale of the floating pigs of Hoopersville lives on, a true story aspeculiar as any this historian can tell.