08-24-2024 - On This Day in Insane History

On August 24th, 2024, a most peculiar event occurred in the rolling hills just outside Madrid, Spain. It was an otherwise typical hot summer's morning with nary a cloud in the blindingly blue sky. The sheep of Farmer Lopez were bleating as usual while grazing amongst the yellow wildflowers. Suddenly, the largest of the herd, a massive ram named Fernando, let out an almighty baaa the likes of which had never been heard in Iberia before.

The sound carried for miles across the countryside and had all manner of reactions. In the village of la Fuente de San Esteban, the nuns of Saint Agnes nearly dropped their rosaries in surprise. Three wineries lost an entire vat of Rioja between them as the steely-faced vintners simultaneously jumped in shock. Over in Portugal, the earthquake was measured at a modest 2.7 on the Richter scale.

But the strangest happening was yet to unfold. No sooner did Fernando utter his extended bellow, a massive boom echoed from the Valle de los Caídos. A volley of panicked birds took to the sky as the ancient granite obelisk that marked General Franco's tomb began to wobble. Before the assembled guards could react, the towering pillar collapsed in a plume of dust, sending the former dictator's remains into disarray. Some historians view this as the symbolic end of Francoism arriving precisely 45 years after his death. As for Fernando, he has kept largely quiet ever since.