08-14-2024 - On This Day in Insane History

On August 14th, 2024, during a routine breakfast at the White House, President Joe Biden suddenly found himself transported through time and space. The president had just taken a sip of orange juice when he felt a strange tingling sensation pass through his body. In an instant, the Oval Office vanished and Biden found himself standing alone on a desolate beach.

Bewildered, the president took in his new strange surroundings. As far as the eye could see, there was nothing but gray sand and crashing waves. A cold, harsh wind whipped around him. Biden quickly realized he was no longer wearing his suit and tie but rather a thick fur loincloth. Just then, a bizarre creature came lumbering toward him across the beach. It had pale blue skin and giant bulbous eyes. With a guttural grunt, the creature offered Biden a giant clam filled with a steaming broth.

Biden blinked hard, certain he must be dreaming. How could he explain this to the American people? At that moment, he felt another zap and found himself suddenly back in the Oval Office. His late morning coffee sat untouched and cold on the desk. He pinched his arm hard, half expecting to wake with a start in his bed. But no, this was all too real. Biden rubbed his eyes and decided some things are better left unexplained, for today, at least, he had seen further into the future than any president before him.