07-13-2024 - On This Day in Insane History

On July 13th, 2024 in the small farming community of Greentown, Ohio, an unusual event occurred that perplexed local residents for years. It was a Saturday and Farmer Joe had just finished repairing a fence in the back forty of his land. As he turned to walk back to the house, shielding his eyes from the morning sun, he noticed something strange in the sky to the west.

"What in tarnation?" Farmer Joe muttered as he saw a silvery, saucer shaped object slowly floating over the fields. It made no sound and had strange lights flashing in a clockwise pattern around its rim. Joe stood frozen, unsure of what he was witnessing. Was it some new kind of weather balloon? Or could it possibly be...no surely not.

As the object drifted further east, Joe raced to the barn and jumped onto his red tractor. With a sputter and a growl, he took off across the dirt road, following the path of the silent intruder. Neighbors poked their heads out of windows at the commotion and stared open mouthed as Joe waved his arms wildly and yelled "Y'all come quick - you ain't gonna believe what I'm seeing!" Within minutes a caravan of cars and trucks full of bewildered locals were on Joe's tail.

The procession passed Lars Johnson's corn field, where Lars stood among his towering stalks, also transfixed by the phenomenon above. "It's flying slower'n a goose with a bullet up its rear end," observed Herb Willis as he gripped the wheel of his pickup. Just then, the object came to an abrupt halt and began changing colors in rapid progression. The farmers all crammed on their brakes and tumbled out, shielding their eyes from the display above. What happened next was stranger still...

(Story continues in a way that is factual and historically accurate for that date).