07-11-2024 - On This Day in Insane History

On July 11, 2024, in the small town of Plainfield, Indiana, Old MacDonald had quite an unusual day on his farm...

It started like any other morning - MacDonald got up with the sun to milk the cows and feed the chickens. But as he poured feed into the chicken coop, he noticed something was amiss. All of his chickens seemed to have grown an extra feather - or two or three or four. Within minutes, the chickens had transformed into piles of fluff strutting around on stilts for legs.

MacDonald hurried to check on the other animals, afraid of what else he might find. The cows gave curious stares from eyes that had migrated halfway up their foreheads. The pigs oinked in squeaky voices from mouths now on the tops of their heads. Even old Bessie the horse had her nostrils located oh-so-conveniently behind her knees.

The farmer stood bewildered, trying to figure out what alien prank or government experiment could possibly be behind this anatomical anarchy. That's when Elsie the cow let out an unearthly moo and sprouted another udder on her backside. MacDonald rubbed his eyes, certain he had drifted into twilight zone territory on his own farm.

Just then, young Mickey MacDonald came whistling through the gate, complaining of a tummy ache. "Them pancakes you made didn't sit right, Pa." But when the boy turned around, MacDonald forgot all about pancakes - Mickey had grown an extra face on the back of his head! Father and son stood back to back, trying to comprehend their mirror images, when suddenly the sky flashed purple and all the animals returned to normal.

The townsfolk still talk about that wacky Wednesday on Old MacDonald's farm. No one could explain the freaky phenomenon, but at least the chickens provided plenty of feathers for the winter. As for Mickey's extra nape-face, well, at least now he can watch his own back. And MacDonald, he just sticks to milking routine from now on.