07-07-2024 - On This Day in Insane History

On July 7, 2024, a most peculiar event occurred that has puzzled historians to this day. It was a typical summer morning in Chicago when suddenly reports started flooding into local police of a most bizarre sighting in Millennium Park. Several early risers in the area claimed they saw what appeared to be a squadron of flying tortoises fluttering through the sky.

Witnesses described the giant reptiles soaring overhead with their stubby legs kicking furiously as they somehow managed to stay aloft. One onlooker who shall remain nameless swears he saw what looked like a hang glider strapped hastily to the carapace of one particularly airborne chelonian. By the time police and reporters arrived at the park, the group had slipped back into the dense trees lining the lagoon.

Strangest of all, later examinations of the area revealed not a single shell fragment or other physical evidence to support the outlandish claims. It seemed the flying tortoises of Millennium Park had vanished without a trace, leaving baffled citizens and historians alike scratching their heads at this most unusual twists of fate. Just what forces of nature or mystery could have caused otherwise earthbound creatures to take spectacularly to the skies on that summer morn? Alas, the strange case of the flying tortoises remains unsolved to this very day.