06-04-2024 - On This Day in Insane History

On June 4th, 2024 in the small village of Elkford, British Columbia, the townsfolk were startled by a most peculiar event. Frank Macklebauer, the local chair repairman, woke to discover that over the night his prized cow Bessie had not only learned to tap dance but had developed a great love of show tunes. Frank found Bessie in the backyard, hoof firmly planted in old Wellington boots, enthusiastically kicking her legs and swinging her udders to the rousing tune of "Diamonds Are a Cow's Best Friend." While the site of a fleet-footed farming bovine was shocking enough, what was particularly perplexing was Bessie's sudden mastery of choreography and her seeming knowledge of lyrics never before heard on the prairies of Elkford. After quickly rounding up the other townsfolk still rubbing the sleep from their eyes, Frank soon had himself an impromptu crowd for Bessie's unorthodox musical number. Gasps and guffaws greeted the cow's performance, though all were impressed by her agility and sense of rhythm. Though scientists searched feverishly for logic or reason behind Bessie's transformation, none could be found. The cow herself offered no explanation, content simply to chew her cud and dance whenever the notion struck. To this day, the learned folks of Elkford still discuss the case of the dancing cow, the strangest thing to grace their peaceful town since the UFO sighting of '99.