06-01-2024 - On This Day in Insane History

On Saturday, June 1st, 2024 in the small rural town of Bucksnort, Nebraska, an unusual incident occurred that had the whole town buzzing for weeks. It was just after 9:50 in the morning when local resident Mabel Johnson was doing her daily dusting of her prized collection of porcelain cats which lined the mantle of her living room fireplace. As she blew the dust off Fluffy, a rather portly tabby from the late 19th century, there was a strange rumbling noise that seemed to be coming from outside.

Mabel walked over to the large bay window to investigate and was shocked by what she saw. Marching down Main Street was a perfectly formed line of pot-bellied pigs, each wearing a little red cape and humming the Battle Hymn of the Republic. Just then, the lead pig raised a walkie talkie to its bristly mouth and began shouting orders in a shockingly human voice. "Platoon halt! Prepare to board the rocket ship. We launch for Mars in T-minus five minutes."

The town's farmer Joe Peterson was just down the road fixing a fence when the porcine parade went by. He rubbed his eyes in disbelief, wondering if the heat was getting to him. But there was no denying what was happening in broad daylight. The pigs seem unbothered by their fantastic situation and followed their leader's commands without question. As quickly as they had arrived, the pigs disappeared down a hole in Farmer Peterson's pasture. All that remained was a steaming pile of evidence and a story that would be retold and embellished for years to come in Bucksnort. Just another typical Saturday it seems - at least according to local legend.