05-26-2024 - On This Day in Insane History

On May 26th, 2024 in the small town of Jamestown, North Dakota, an unusual event occurred that caused quite a stir. Farmer John Schmidt was in the fields that afternoon testing out his newly repaired tractor. Just after noon, as Farmer John drove down Row 3 of his cabbage patch, something truly mystifying took place. Without any warning, the tractor came to an abrupt halt as if it had hit an invisible wall. Farmer John attempted to restart the engine but to no avail. When he popped out of the cab to check under the hood, that's when he saw it - a perfectly round, 10 foot wide circle of cabbages in the field had been emptied of their leaves and stalks, save for the roots which remained firmly in the ground.

News of the strange occurrence spread quickly through the tightknit farming community. By evening, a group had gathered in Farmer John's field, carefully inspecting and measuring the uncanny bare patch. The town sheriff scratched her head, stumped as to how such a thing could naturally occur. Though few spoke it aloud, many suspected beings from another world were responsible. That night, as a huge orange harvest moon rose over the prairie, several folk claimed to see peculiar lights flying through the skies. While science offers no answer for the mysterious missing cabbages, it remains one of Jamestown's most curious historical anomalies, forever memorialized in local legend as "The Great Cabbage Purge of 2024."