043 _ Using Spirituality As An Excuse For Bad Behavior

In today’s episode, we’re discussing a topic sent in by one of you. — The idea of using spiritual lingo or concepts to justify not addressing what’s really going on.
It struck a point with us. Having been on a so-called spiritual path much of our lives, we’ve seen this pattern often.  Where we or other people use spiritual lingo to not deal with the actuality of what’s really going on with us.

One label that has become popular in recent years is Spiritual Bypassing.  
“A spiritual bypass or spiritual bypassing is a "tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks”.

Sometimes people use the spiritual terminology to take a position of superiority, to get their way, or to manipulate the conversation away from the actuality of what’s really happening presently.  A semi-new ‘spiritual term being used to describe this is ‘Spiritual Narcissism.’
“The belief that your spiritual wisdom makes you more special than others. It can be used to shield yourself from criticism, to impress others, or to enhance your-self-esteem and feel good about yourself.”

Some signs of spiritual bypassing or spiritual narcissism:

• Not focusing on the here and now; living in a spiritual realm much of the time.
• Overemphasizing the positive and avoiding the negative.
• Being self-righteous about the concept of enlightenment.
• Being overly detached.
• Being overly idealistic.
• Having feelings of entitlement.
• Exhibiting frequent anger.
• Engaging in cognitive dissonance — when two or more beliefs we have contradict each other. 
• Being overly compassionate.
• Pretending that everything is okay when it’s not.

If I’m hiding what I’m doing and using spiritual concepts to justify it, that’s a clue that I’m using spirituality to sidestep dealing with the actuality of what’s really happening. 

It’s how we use spiritual concepts to avoid dealing with difficult truths of life that face us sometimes. But the truth is that we’re living in a world filled with ego-driven narcissistic and difficult behavior -  it can make us feel powerless, angry and afraid. 

These responses are the actuality of our life in the current moment. How we respond is an invitation to look within ourselves. 
Too often we put the blame for our feelings on the situation or persons involved and then use spiritual concepts to elevate ourselves above it.

We get these spiritual ideas of love, peace and light. Then when something happens and we feel hurt and angry or feel betrayed, but we feel like we shouldn’t feel the way we do. So we use these ‘higher’ concepts to bypass these difficult emotions, and with it, the opportunity to look more deeply at our beliefs and fears and issues that we are coming to the surface. 

We’re ignoring the invitation from life, from our true self, to look deeper within ourselves. And to experience true intimacy with the others involved.

What we’re really doing is using our ‘spiritual identity’ to disconnect from ourselves and intimacy with the other people involved. 

We can’t be present and project a spiritual image at the same time. 
Everything that happens is an invitation to know ourselves better —to embrace all the aspects of ourselves so we can question the beliefs that make us want to run away from the present experience.  
Love looks. Fear looks away. 

We hope you enjoy our conversation as much as we enjoyed bring it to you.
Have a yummy week & a yummy day!!!