042_ Negative News Media & Social Media Personas

Last week I posted that it looked like Lar had become my regular co-host on the podcast. It’s like the universe laughed and said, “Uh, when did you start being in charge? ... Like the saying goes. We make plans, and God laughs... 

So the other day, my sister, Keri and I were having a conversation about an article in the New York Times we’d both read that morning about Negativity in News media and right away it felt like a conversation to bring to the mic and do a podcast on. So I’ve invited Keri, which she graciously agreed, to join me at the mic today.

From that original conversation Keri did some research that showed that negative news reporting there is a reason for it. She discovered is that there has been a lot of negative-bias research done. One  point she resonated with and shares is that negativity as a greater potency and saliency because we’ve become so accustomed to the common and greater number of positive events in our lives.

She points out that in much of our lives we take for granted the great number of things that commonly go right on a daily basis. So we don’t give them the potency that negativity does. 
The cultivation of that kind of thinking begins to permeate through us. Depending on our upbringing and social circles and personal work, influences how negative news impacts our lives.
She shares an old Russian proverb that says, “A teaspoon of tar in a barrel of honey isn’t the same as a teaspoon of honey in a barrel of tar.” The visual of that brings her point home.
Then, she gives the example of finding a cockroach in your food — how that can alter our whole experience of eating lunch, right?

We talk about how the potency of negative press feeds into social personas we cultivate — almost as if we are trying to offset the negativity we see elsewhere with a persona that says ‘I’m not like that.‘  
The saliency of negative news is a distraction from our personal conflicts and feelings. But we can use this as a signal to look within. To see what we’re getting from distracting ourselves these addictive outlets — either negative news or exclusively positive posting.

With social media we we get to pick and choose how we want to be seen by others. We tend to create these positive personas and share images reflecting the way we want to be seen, using filters and tech designed for it. 

Keri shares the impact she has seen with her clients —how their inner world is reflecting the same issues we see in the world. It feeds into what’s being called ‘toxic positivity’ — the belief that no matter how dire or difficult a situation is, people should maintain a positive mindset. Denying what is, and trying to create something that isn’t.

We see all these positive posts of lives working out so well and feel ashamed ours isn’t like that. We feel it’s not okay to be not okay. So we share just the things that make it look like we’re doing okay. 
We see all these negative news post, which we believe and feel afraid and insecure. Then, we see all these bright and shining lives in social media and we feel distanced from both and all alone. 

But, haven’t you noticed that whenever you read a post where someone vulnerably shares their fears, it touches the vulnerability within us. Authenticity is attractive. 

What we want to do is cultivate a space of self-awareness and be honest about what we’re getting out of the various news feeds we migrate toward and what that is inviting us to look at within ourselves.  When we notice the compulsion to distract from our lives through media feeds, if we can pause and ask what is my motivation behind this. What am I being invited to look at in myself and my life. If peace is my goal, pausing becomes more and more automatic. 

I hope you enjoy our conversation as much as we enjoyed bringing it to you.
Have a yummy week & a yummy day!!!