The Unorganized Township of Bootstuck

Bootstuck begins the day with a greeting both dramatic and obvious: “Here I am. Look at my face eyes.” From there, the conversation turns lunar. The townsfolk celebrate the moon depending on its full…

Spring stirs something in Bootstuck, and apparently that something is an ocean under construction. What began as a single hole, diligently filled with Caleb’s 17 buckets of water, has now become a ci…

This week in Bootstuck, a new civic initiative is announced: treasure chests filled with nickels and notes will be hidden around town, doubling as both a wishing well and a municipal mystery. Meanwhi…

Bootstuck continues its grand tradition of opening businesses that should not exist. Fish Beach, the town’s only two-fish restaurant, is thriving thanks to its “hooking parties,” while Tongues and To…

The latest tape finds our documenter once again baffled by Bootstuck’s cast of interrupters, half-formed ideas, and curious definitions of everyday life.

It begins with a supposed “hat guy” sighting, …

Tape 40 opens with an image that’s equal parts slapstick and unsettling: Caleb, attempting what he calls “skywalking,” ties his shoelaces around his hands until he can’t breathe, only to be spun arou…

The tape opens with a heated accusation of lying, quickly derailed into a plan for a New Month’s Resolution: stop working out and start smoking (though the order is negotiable). A discussion of pizza…

The tape begins with a triumphant ode to soup — thick enough to hold a flag and hotter than rice — before veering into an odd declaration that “science is a fact.” This somehow segues into a taxonomy…

What begins with a vague reference to “current affairs” quickly turns into another Bootstuck spiral of half-finished thoughts, potatoes, and emotional trauma. The narrator once again attempts to docu…

 In this unusually musical instalment, the town confronts the potential arrival of a Walmart with its usual level of deeply flawed logic and overly enthusiastic planning.

The tape opens with a morning…

EPISODE SUMMARY (Tape 35):
A long-distance call with questionable audio quality spirals quickly into fashion advice, livestock comparisons, silent Caleb, and a surprisingly long telephone cord.

Listen…

 A long-distance call with questionable audio quality spirals quickly into fashion advice, livestock comparisons, silent Caleb, and a surprisingly long telephone cord.

Listeners are introduced to a po…

This recovered tape opens with a critical musical analysis of Led Zeppelin (mistakenly called Heavy Blimps), accused of using “pots and pans” as instruments and expressing “a lot of love” — roughly 6…

Tape 32 begins mid-conversation as usual, with someone attempting to introduce the mayor before getting sidetracked by vague mouth-based declarations. The bulk of the recording centers on an imprompt…

A surprise reconnection by telephone leads to the discovery of The Bubble Games — a loosely defined series of recreational events that seem to involve hand shoes, bubble ingestion, and poorly supervi…

Found another tape in that old box from the Sudbury garage sale. I’m still trying to figure out why these people even bothered to record any of this.

This one opens with our familiar Bootstuck corresp…

Another tape cleaned up and transcribed, another mind bending conversation from the 'Stuck. It opens in classic Bootstuck fashion with a baffling promise to “pleasure a man with a musical number,” be…

Another tape and I'm not sure if the numbering is sequential because the subject matter certainly isn't. No introduction, no real context and no interviewer—just Don ranting about Bill's “topless bil…

Another tape showed up, and I had to listen through the usual haze of static, crosstalk, and a phone call that cut in halfway through. I’m still trying to figure out who is calling them, or how they …

Tape 26: “Tires, Carrots, and Other Local Crops”

Got another recording today—this one opens with them claiming to have reached my “secretary” (the voicemail, I assume), asking if she has good penmansh…