The Turned-On Couple Podcast

Sex and stress do not make happy bedmates. That’s a biological fact.

Human suffering, illness, politics, environmental issues, human rights violations, and finances are just some of our stressors.

Bad…

Mismatched desire is the number one challenge my clients bring to me for resolution. Statistically, if you’re part of a couple, there’s an 80% chance you have experienced this or are experiencing thi…

No matter how dry your sex life is right now, there’s a path forward for you as a couple. Like anything in nature, change is constant; everything has an ebb and flow, an expansion and contraction, a …

This is a milestone post as it’s the final chapter of Part 1 of The Turned-On Couple (relationships). In Part 2 we’ll be moving into the subject of desire, the what, whys and hows of desire in long-t…

I once sat in on a group conversation about jealousy. The attendees were made up mostly of people in polyamorous and open relationships. For this group, jealousy is an emotion that requires honest in…

On a trip to the snowy woods of Northern Wisconsin, I curled up in front of a fire to read a book on Japanese folk religions, a fitting subject for a natural environment that evokes stillness and sil…

My partner and I are about halfway through a six-week road trip from San Francisco to Vancouver Island. We’re living, working, and adventuring out of a 19x6 foot camper van we built ourselves, comple…

We are walking, talking, memory machines. We draw information from old memories and apply it to our present-day decisions. Every pleasure to which we’re drawn, every pain we avoid, every relationship…

I used to think I knew who I was, who he was, and suddenly I don’t recognize us, neither him nor me… My entire life, as I’ve led it up to this moment, has crumbled, like in those earthquakes where th…

I woke up feeling emotionally battered from news footage I’d watched the night before that personified bullying behavior by a politician.

I thought about people who currently live (or have lived) wit…

Your lights are on, but you’re not home

Your mind is not your own

Your heart sweats, your body shakes

Another kiss is what it takes

You can’t sleep, you can’t eat

There’s no doubt, you’re in deep

Your thro…

As I said last week, Part 1 (chapters 1-28) of the Turned-On Couple is where the rubber meets the relationship road. This is where you lay the foundation for intimacy and desire to grow. So let’s loo…

As we progress through Part 1 of The Turned-On Couple, which is focused on love and relationship dynamics, you’re getting an idea of how many aspects of your relationship can impact your sex life.

Bu…

As we’ve learned in earlier chapters, no matter who you are or how happy you are in your relationship, you’re going to experience conflict.

Experiencing conflict in your relationship is not a sign of…

This is the final Horseman we know all too well. Defensiveness.

Every one of Dr. John Gottman’s Four Horsemen (Contempt, Stonewalling, Criticizing, Defensiveness) is a maladaptive strategy to protect…

Stonewalling is the third behavior in what's known as the Four Horsemen; four toxic communication habits that, according to Dr. John Gottman's research, are strong predictors of a relationship's brea…

Narrated by Corinne Farago

Last week we talked about researcher John Gottman’s Four Horsemen, identifying patterns of four deadly relationship dynamics. This week we’re looking at contempt. What does …

Renowned psychologists, John and Julie Gottman have made significant contributions to the field of couples therapy and relationship research.

One of their contributions is the model known as “The Four…

"Couples' conversations range from daily tasks to deep emotions. Finding balance between the mundane and profound is key to a healthy, lasting relationship. Here are three levels of conversation to i…

No matter how well we were parented, cared for, and protected, every one of us grew into adulthood carrying emotional wounds that caused us to form negative beliefs about ourselves and the world arou…