Releasing the Need for Approval: Letting Go of What Others Think

In this powerful episode, David Maxwell of Thriving Man tackles a struggle many of us face: releasing the need for approval and letting go of what others think.

Introduction: The Trap of Seeking Approval

David opens with a relatable illustration: trying to impress a professional drummer while playing in a band, highlighting how easy it is to get caught in the trap of focusing on what others think. This desire for external validation can prevent us from truly living as the men we were designed to be. This episode, part of the Insecurity Series, is all about helping you live a thriving life.

The Historical Struggle with External Opinion

The struggle with what others think is not new. From fashion choices to relationship decisions (like picking a partner for appearance rather than connection), we often let external perceptions dictate our lives. David clarifies that it’s not about never caring what people think, but about releasing the need for approval. When you live for others' approval, you lose control of your own life.

Two Keys to Releasing the Need for Approval

1. Build a Healthy Detachment

Healthy detachment is not coldness or indifference. Instead, it's a mature and balanced way of relating to the world. It allows you to:

• Focus on your individual well-being while engaging in respectful interactions.
• Navigate complex relationships without losing yourself.
• Practice compassion without enmeshment and engagement without undue emotional burden.
• Live authentically, without playing a part or acting out a character.
• Cultivate empathy and build healthy connections, avoiding the people-pleasing trap.

Healthy detachment requires truth:

• Be honest about your own strengths and weaknesses.
• Be truthful in your dealings with others, speaking honestly about your actions.
• Jesus is presented as an example: loving and empathetic, yet speaking uncomfortable truths and not letting others control him.

2. Learn to Release Control

You cannot control what others think of you, so stop trying. This doesn't mean you don't care, but it means their opinions can't control you. David illustrates this with examples like wearing uncomfortable fashion trends or putting on an "I don't care mask" – both are attempts to control perception. The key is to simply be you.

Trying to control others' opinions often stems from our own insecurity. As you become more secure in who you are, acknowledging both your strengths and weaknesses, you'll develop a peace that permeates all areas of your life. While protecting your name and integrity is important, you ultimately cannot control what happens in other people's minds.

Your Call to Action

Start by focusing on building your healthy detachment:

• Individual well-being: How are you growing as a man? Explore resources at Thrivingman.com.
• Respectful interactions: Are you cultivating strong friendships and relationships?

By taking these steps to release the need for approval, you will unlock a whole new aspect of your life and truly begin to thrive.