Chapter 26

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Chapter 25      Chapter 27

Psyche lay awake in the darkness, struggling to sleep. 

Cydippe’s meal had been nice and everything had been going well, until it began turning dark. The sisters couldn’t understand why they weren’t allowed to have any light and why they needed to go to bed so early. 

Going to bed so early was for the villagers, not for royalty. They should be allowed to have some light.  

Psyche had done her best to explain that it was a condition of living with her husband. That brought up more discussion about how trapped Psyche was and how monstrous her husband must be. 

She felt tired, but she couldn’t quiet her mind long enough to sleep.  She kept thinking about all of the things her sisters had said.

Psyche deserved to be punished. 

Psyche had thoughtlessly caused her sisters considerable suffering.

Her sisters were happy now. They were using their talents and improving their respective kingdoms.

Her husband had been wrong.

They didn’t need her. 

She seemed to disrupt the order of things anyway.

Psyche turned on her side.

How could she have been so blind to all of the things she’d done wrong? 

She felt foolish. 

All of the work she had done for the kingdom, all of the kindness and goodness wouldn’t make up for her sins. Her sisters apparently could see her true nature. 

Psyche wasn’t good. She made things worse. 

Psyche felt her stomach tighten. She wondered how she would eat anything tomorrow. 

How could she face her sisters again? How could she look into their faces and not feel shame? She had hoped letting them take over the running of her palace would help everyone feel better. 

But Psyche felt horrible.

She had brought them here to help them. She had wanted to show them all of the wonderful things of her husband’s kingdom to bring them joy.

Her sisters weren’t happy with anything Psyche had created. 

Her creations were flawed. Her creations needed improvement. 

Psyche tried to hold back tears. 

She had too many flaws to help anyone. She would never be able to help anyone ever again anyway. 

It was probably for the better. 

The Goddess had been right. Psyche had inflicted pain on her sisters. The Goddess had been able to see everything. 

The Goddess could see through Psyche’s attempts to do good. 

Intentions didn’t matter.

She thought about her husband. If only he were here. Maybe he could shed some light on all of this.

Light.

She couldn’t even see him. What if he was deceiving her? What if none of this was real? 

Then she really was alone. 

She surrendered to her thoughts and let tears slide down her face. 

Psyche didn’t know how long she had slept before she was suddenly awakened by a very loud gasp.

“Psyche! Psyche!! Wake up!!” 

Psyche reluctantly opened her eyes to a dim and dull light. 

She was facing a stone wall.

Psyche turned, blinking into a brighter light coming from an opening in the stone work. 

They were back in the cave.

Aglaura and Cydippe were standing over her, completely bewildered.

“Psyche, what has happened?? Where are we?” Aglaura said, looking around the room.

“What happened to the palace?” Cydippe said, looking intently into Psyche’s face. 

Psyche sat up.

“This is the palace,” Psyche sighed. “This is where I started.”

There was no use pretending. 

“What do you mean??” Aglaura said.

Psyche stood up. 

“When I first arrived, I woke up to this, a prison, a cave, a fitting punishment for a blasphemous princess married to a monster,” Psyche said. “This is where I belong. There’s no need to pretend anymore.”

“But you can change it, can’t you?” Cydippe said. “You can turn it into something better?”

“I had turned it into something better. I had thought I was perhaps deserving of something else, but I’m not,” Psyche said. 

She moved to the opening in the cave. 

Her sisters followed.

“This is where I belong,” Psyche said, stepping out into the sunlight. “This is what I deserve.”

Psyche stood for a moment, eyes closed, facing the morning sun. This part of her world wasn’t so bad. It still had warmth, still had little insects and tangled weeds. 

She could love this too. 

Aglaura and Cydippe looked at each other. 

“Maybe I could help bring back the palace,” Aglaura said. “Let me try.”

Aglaura closed her eyes and lifted her hands, trying to conjure up a lovely palace of marble and gold. She struggled to remember exactly what it had looked like as Psyche had created it. 

Psyche turned to Aglaura.

“No,” Psyche said sadly, “this is where I belong.” 

Aglaura looked at Cydippe. 

Cydippe looked at Psyche.

“Maybe if I tried,” Cydippe said. “I don’t see why we all have to suffer together, at least while Aglaura and I are here.”

Psyche looked at Cydippe sadly. She knew Cydippe wouldn’t be strong enough to take charge of this world and bend it to her will.

Psyche’s sorrow was too great. 

Cydippe closed her eyes, trying to bring back — at the very least — her beautiful room.

Nothing happened.

“It’s useless,” Psyche said. “I’m sorry I brought you here. I wish I could send you back sooner, but we have a few more days before you can be taken home.”

Psyche smiled sadly at her sisters. 

“I truly am sorry, for everything,” Psyche said. “I never meant to make either of you feel unloved or judged. I can see the Goddess is just and I accept her will.”

Psyche turned and started walking. Might as well gather a few berries so they didn’t starve.

Her sisters followed her, even more bewildered and confused. They noticed as they walked a bowl appeared in Psyche’s hand. 

They reached a large berry bush and Psyche started collecting some to share. She didn’t know whether the berries would be sweet or bitter for her sisters.

Hers would be bitter.

She felt so sorry, but there was nothing she could do.

Aglaura and Cydippe stood in silence, awkwardly watching Psyche pick the berries. 

Psyche turned and offered what she’d collected.

“I’m sorry if they are bitter,” Psyche said. “It’s all that this world has to offer, I’m afraid.”

Aglaura hesitated. Cydippe put one in her mouth and immediately spit it out.

“We’re going to starve,” Cydippe wailed. 

Psyche placed a few berries in her mouth and let the bitterness fill it. She cringed as she forced herself to swallow. It was better to accept the bitterness than to fight against it. 

The taste mellowed.

“It’s not so bad once you accept it,” Psyche said.

“This is your punishment, not ours,” Aglaura said. “How can you expect us to stay here with nothing to eat?” 

“I’m so sorry,” Psyche said. “Just another testament to my failure. I brought you here hoping I could help you. I can’t even help myself.”

“Help us?” Cydippe said. “Why would we need your help?”

“My husband went to check on you,” Psyche said. “I’m not allowed to leave here, but I was wondering how you were both doing. He brought back interesting news.”

“What did he say?” Aglaura said carefully.

Psyche noticed a sitting area appear under the shade of some of the wilderness. Psyche started walking towards it and her sisters followed.

“He said you were both unhappy,” Psyche said. “But I can see now that he was wrong.”

Cydippe looked at Aglaura as they followed Psyche. Aglaura didn’t return her glance.

“What reasons did he give?” Aglaura said, settling into a seat made of stone. “Did he have any evidence of our unhappiness?” 

“He didn’t give a lot of specifics,” Psyche said. “I wasn’t very good at listening, I’m afraid. It was hard to hear the state of things from his perspective. But he said that Aglaura’s kingdom is stressed and unhappy and that Cydippe is tired and dissatisfied.” 

The three sat in silence for a moment.

“I’m sorry,” Psyche said. “Clearly he was wrong. I never should have –”

“He’s right,” Cydippe said, interrupting her. 

Both sisters looked at her. 

“I am tired,” Cydippe said, looking down. “I’m so tired, I can barely stand it. I try so hard to entertain and keep everyone happy, but it takes so much out of me.”

Psyche put a hand on Cydippe’s shoulder. 

“My husband doesn’t know how to help. He tries, he really does. I mean it when I say he loves me, but I barely have enough time to really be with him. There are so many rehearsals and performances, planning and things to do. And he is equally busy taking care of the rest of our affairs. He takes care of most of the household management too because I’m hardly ever home,” Cydippe said.

“Why do you do it?” Psyche asked.

“I love it,” Cydippe shrugged. “I love bringing joy to people. I love giving them a rest from their labors. I don’t know everything about village life, but I know it’s hard. You showed me that. I know life is better in my husband’s kingdom since I arrived. People are happier and more industrious. We’re doing better with trade, my husband says, and he gives me a lot of the credit.”

Psyche smiled. 

“You truly are a wondrous person to have around, Cydippe,” Psyche said. “You make everything all the more exciting and bright. I enjoyed creating your room so much, putting together colors and details to reflect how beautiful and wonderful you are.”

Cydippe smiled, tears forming in her eyes. 

“I try,”  Cydippe said. “I really do. But what can be done? I can’t keep up with all of the needs, all of the demands on me.”

Psyche thought for a moment.

“I don’t know,” Psyche said. 

“You need to share the burden,” Aglaura said. 

They both looked at her.

“Cydippe, you’re not the only talented performer in your kingdom,” Aglaura said. “You’re not the only one who could manage these events. There are likely others who could take up some of the work, giving you time for you and your husband.”

Cydippe rolled her eyes. 

“Of course you would say that,” Cydippe said. “You would rather delegate everything rather than do it yourself. You’d rather boss everyone around rather than get your hands dirty. Do you outsource spending time with your husband too?”

“Cydippe!” Psyche said. “That was mean. How can you say that?”

“She’s just jealous, Psyche,” Aglaura said. “Don’t mind her.”

“Me? Jealous of you?” Cydippe said bitterly. “I would never want to be anything like you, Aglaura. You’re cold and proud. You think you’re perfect. You always have to be better than everyone else. Your way is the only way. 

“No one loves you, Aglaura, because you only love yourself.”

“Is that the best you can do?” Aglaura said, in a mocking tone. 

Psyche had seen her sisters fight many times. They were always competing, always complaining, but there was something different in the tone of their words which spoke of genuine pain.

“Cydippe,” Psyche said gently as her sisters sat glaring at each other. “Aglaura is right. You really should find a way to share the burden so you can spend the time you need for yourself and to be with your husband.”

The sisters looked at her. 

Feeling a bit bolder, Psyche continued.

“Aglaura is wise and does know that a burden is made lighter when we share it. It’s not that she doesn’t want to get her hands dirty, it’s that she wants to see things done well. She’s not so prideful as to think she can do everything. She is happy to let others do what they do best. In fact, she delights in putting all of the pieces together and watching them fall into place,” Psyche said.

Aglaura looked stunned.

“How do you know that?” Aglaura said, her defenses faltering. 

“Aglaura, I know you love deeply,” Psyche said. “You have dedicated your life to our kingdom and to helping it run smoothly. You are always looking for ways to help others.”

“Are you saying that just because I tried to help you find a husband? An effort which utterly failed,” Aglaura said.

Psyche laughed. 

“I gave you all quite the challenge, didn’t I? Not only was I a difficult case, I had the gods working against me,” Psyche said. “But no. I’ve seen it in so many ways. It’s in the way you listen to the affairs of the kingdom and offer solutions to big problems. Your studies and dedication to logic and philosophy were put to good use helping Mother and Father. They relied a lot on you.

“Our kingdom has prospered in large part because of you.”

Aglaura started to cry.

“It’s never enough,” Aglaura said. “No matter what I do, no one seems to appreciate my efforts. And no one seems to care. Even High King. He’s hardly around. All he cares about is hunting and expanding the kingdom. He never sees the work I do, never appreciates my efforts to elevate his kingdom. 

“I — I don’t think he really loves me.”

“What was it like when you were first married?” Psyche asked.

“At first he was happy to parade me around. He seemed proud, having me on his arm,” Aglaura said. “He went away on his first hunting trip and I was so excited to show him the full extent of my wisdom and talents. But when he got back he hardly noticed any of the changes. He just wanted to — to do what all men want. Of course I went through the motions, but something was missing and he could tell. After that High King changed somehow. I tried harder to prove that I was worthy of his love. He seemed less and less interested.”

“Well, that’s easy, Aglaura,” Cydippe said. “Stop trying so hard.”

“You wouldn’t know the first thing about how much effort it takes to really do something well,” Aglaura said. “You just walk onto the stage and everyone loves you. You don’t have to put in hardly any effort at all!”

Psyche put up a hand before Cydippe could respond.  

“Cydippe is right, Aglaura,” Psyche said, trying to get ahead of their squabbling. “You are naturally just as lovable as Cydippe. You don’t have to try as hard as you do to be loved. In fact, sometimes I think it’s the effort that drives them away.”

“What do you mean?” Aglaura said, getting defensive again. 

“I just mean,” Psyche said smiling, “that you are naturally lovable. I remember when High King first arrived, he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. He didn’t care for anyone else, didn’t admire anyone else. You easily stole his heart. It was written all over his face.”

Aglaura gave a small smile. 

“I admit — ” Cydippe said, her tone changing slightly.

Then she stopped herself. 

“You can speak your mind here,” Psyche said, trying to encourage her.

“I admit, I thought High King was the most handsome suitor I’d ever seen,” Cydippe said. “I was jealous at first when he didn’t even look at me. He didn’t even seem to like me. He found my attempts to get his attention childish, I think.”

“Is that why you were so rude to him?” Aglaura said, understanding in her voice. “He is very particular about protocol and the way things should be. He was often baffled by your frankness and energy.”

“You see,” Psyche said. “You are his match in so many ways. You don’t need to doubt his love for you. And just know, we love you. We really missed you after you were married. Cydippe was lost without you, and I was a poor substitute.”

“You give yourself too little credit, Psyche, You were a good little sister.” Cydippe said.

“And you were so gracious with us,” Aglaura said. “With all of our pulling and prodding at you.”

Psyche couldn’t help a smile of her own.

“I’m sorry for what we said earlier,” Aglaura said. “You’re — different. It hasn’t always been easy to make sense of the things you do.”

“It’s alright,” Psyche said. “I never should have let the people worship me. I should have been a better sister.”

“No, you were a good sister,” Aglaura said. “You were doing your best in your own way. I can see why the people worshipped you. Honestly, I think I always knew it. I just — I just couldn’t help feeling a little jealous. I wanted to be the best. I tried so hard to do everything right so that my wisdom and beauty could be unmatched.”

“You certainly made it difficult to keep up with you,” Cydippe said. “I have always admired your grace and wisdom. I think that’s why I turned to the theatrics. I had to find something you didn’t already excel at!” 

“You are a marvel, Cydippe,” Aglaura said. “You are beautiful and breathe life into any occasion. Psyche’s right. You make everything more exciting. I only wish I hadn’t been so focused on being the best to have enjoyed things more.”

Cydippe reached for Aglaura and the two embraced. 

Psyche smiled. 

“Look!” Cydippe cried, as she pulled away from Aglaura. “The palace!!”

The women all looked towards where the cave had been and found an even more beautiful and glittering palace. 

“Come on!” Cydippe said, excited. “Let’s see what there is for lunch. I’m starving!” 

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